Mind jokes

Do you think John F. Kennedy went for a ride in Dallas just to clear his head because his wife said he was close-minded?

Knock knock. Who's there? Broken pencil. Broken pencil who? Never mind, it's pointless!

Q: Get up for a chair joke!

A: Oh, never mind, you can sit down.

I arrived at a restaurant early and the manager said, "Do you mind waiting a bit?" I said, "I don’t mind," and he said, "OK. Take these trays to table 9."

I said I’m losing my mind. My friend said, “You didn’t have much to begin with.”

NORTH INDIANS: Decent, but overrated af. They are the only thing that comes to many ppl's minds when someone says "Indian".

SOUTH INDIANS: Decent, but underrated af. Many ppl don't even know they exist. They are literally asked if they are North Indians.

WEST AND EAST: Decent but underrated af.

These people who are offended by rape jokes don’t even understand humor. They think of humor as like a happy thing because humor makes us laugh and laughter makes us happy, but most of the jokes that we laugh at are filled with pain and suffering. If I take a joke like, how many police officers does it take to change a light bulb? None, they just beat the room for being black. Now that joke isn’t making light of the fact that people have marched in the civil rights movement and people have been racially discriminated against. It’s not making light of those, what it’s doing is it’s taking that pain and suffering and making you transcend it for a moment, and showing the absurdity of the human mind, and that is important. Humor at its best takes the bad things in this world that are painful and hard to deal with and makes it something funny.

And before you go in the comments and say I agree with rape, I don’t. I hope everybody who rapes someone to have their dick cut off. My little sister got fucking raped when she was six, and the guy is lucky he got caught by the police and not me, cause if I caught I would have fucking killed him, so I don’t agree with rape, but I still think rape jokes should still not be taken so seriously!

Yo Father, don't use the baptism bath. I cleaned my anal plug in there.

What?

The holy water gets all the ass off. Don't mind the white stuff. *clears throat*

What has one head, one foot and four legs? A: A Bed

Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof? A: Never mind, it's over your head!

Q: How many letters are in The Alphabet? A: There are 11 letters in The Alphabet

Q: How can you spell cold with two letters? A: IC (icy)

Q: What state is surrounded by the most water? A: Hawaii (this is really just a trick riddle)

Q: David's father had three sons: Snap, Crackle, and ? A: David!

Q: If you were in a rainforest, what would be the first thing you put on? A: The radio!

What did Ronnie have at Taco Bell?

A mind-blowing bean burrito.

Roses are red, the sky is blue, what do you do? Oh, never mind, I'm not homo like you.

Boy: Wanna hear about my dick? Never mind, it's too short.

Girl: Wanna hear about my pussy? Fuck no, you won't get it.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your grandma died, your dad left you too, Now you're living with your old grandma coot. Oh, let's not forget your mom left you, too. You gon' live alone, die alone, with no roses on your casket, too.

Jesus shows up and says you’ve got to go to church.

You follow him in, and under their breath, it sounds like somebody says, "You steal." You say in your mind, knowing you have before, "I’m sorry." Then somebody coughs, and under their breath, it sounds like they say again, "You steal," so you whisper quietly, "I’m sorry."

...then somebody in German says, "Schieß den Hurensohn!"

Did you hear about the unborn fetus? Oh wait, never mind, it must have been aborted from the sight.

Wanna hear a pizza joke? Never mind... It's too cheesy.

Why do people make orphan jokes... their parents will get mad... oh wait, never mind, please continue.

Guys, we need to stop telling orphan jokes, they're gonna tell their parents. Oh wait, never mind, continue.

Yo mama's so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead to make up her mind.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Bill Cosby.

Bill Cosby who?

Never mind, I’ll come back when you’re sleeping.