Military jokes
What do you call a disabled man with a gun?
"Special forces."
There was an enemy with a machine gun.
My commander said, "Un-arm the enemy."
So I ran over to the enemy and chopped his arms off.
What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?
A flat major.
Why don't Japanese people like iPhones?
Because they are afraid of American airdrops.
I own a gun with Nazi rounds and shot a guy who broke into my house. He said, “Did you just shoot me with a Nazi round?” and I replied, “Do you mean Nein millimeter?”
Afgans looking at the GBU-43/B Massive Ordnance Air Blast Bomb like
What does Marine stand for?
Muscles Are Required, Intelligence Not Expected.
What if Hitler did not say "bombs away," he said "lambs are slayed?"
I called a suicide hotline in Iraq... They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck.
Why are the best used guns from France?
Because they have never been fired and they have only been dropped once.
A German soldier is walking down the street during a hail storm when a lady suddenly falls over after being hit. He, along with a few others, walk over to her. One man asks, "What happened?" and the soldier replies, "Hail hit her."
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special forces.
Bro, WW2 was just a joke.
9/10/01
Bush: “Ok, I got this. Just act surprised and pretend to be sad and declare war on Afghanistan.”
IX + X = XXI. So XXI is two legions into one.
Your momma's so fat that she's used goods, like the Russian tanks.
Why are we still fighting in darkness?
"Mission failed, soldier, we will get 'em next time."
My friend is gonna release an air strike. There has to be at least 20 confirmed toilet kills.
We destroyed two boats, and they dropped the sun on us twice!
My dad never came back with the milk. My mom told me he's in the army.
What do you call 6 gay men in WW2?
Rainbow Six Siege.