Military jokes
"Terrorist, that’s a little strong. We call them private militaries."
What's after R-P-G?
W.
I took my mother-in-law out today...
I love being a sniper.
Why can't we see a camel?
Because it's camelflauged!
Name: Jack, call sign "triple".
School: Nova corps gun academy.
Location: Wyoming mountains.
What did the Army soldier say after he got his legs fixed?
Afgan-I-Stand.
What do you call a special needs army?
The special forces.
Why does the army take orphans as fighter jet pilots?
Because homing missiles don’t work on them.
Russians think they are tougher than Americans. Here are some reasons for the Russians out here reading this:
1. USA was NEVER invaded!
2. USA never commits as many war crimes as Russia does!
3. USA made the first nuclear weapon so yeah shove that up your ass, Russians!
4. Our soldiers don’t rape kids.
5. We have more allies than you.
6. We are smaller but stronger.
7. Random civilians in the USA have stronger guns than Russian military does!
I have gathered intelligence regarding the Russian Forces that have been stalled in Ukraine for days. Apparently, they are installing rear view mirrors on their combat vehicles and tanks in order to see the battle at the front lines.
Officer: "Stay back soldiers, minefield!"
Soldier: "Let's clear the field!"
Officer: "Ok!"
*silence*
*explosion*
What has legs but can't walk?
A veteran.
What if Hitler did not say "bombs away," he said "lambs are slayed?"
Russia went from N-95 to M-16 real quick...
Why does the military pick orphans as fighter pilots?
Because homing missiles don't work on them.
Putin be like, Finland and Sweden are bullying me with NATO, the same NATO that can't even reload a gun! Russians are pussies!
Why couldn't an orphan use a fighter jet?
Because he couldn't use the homing missiles.
What do you call Hitler?
Gay.
If you go to the military and you get sent to a country, how many heads will you blow off?
That number is how many dicks you suck.
Why did Hitler lose the war?
Because Göring ate every last airplane, tank, artillery, ship, and ammunition!