Military jokes
What if Hitler did not say "bombs away," he said "lambs are slayed?"
Russia went from N-95 to M-16 real quick...
What has legs but can't walk?
A veteran.
Putin be like, Finland and Sweden are bullying me with NATO, the same NATO that can't even reload a gun! Russians are pussies!
Why couldn't an orphan use a fighter jet?
Because he couldn't use the homing missiles.
Memes
What do you call Hitler?
Gay.
Why did Hitler lose the war?
Because Göring ate every last airplane, tank, artillery, ship, and ammunition!
Why does the army take orphans as fighter jet pilots?
Because homing missiles don’t work on them.
The point of war is not to die for your country, but to make the fresh recruit on the enemy's side die for his.
I have gathered intelligence regarding the Russian Forces that have been stalled in Ukraine for days. Apparently, they are installing rear view mirrors on their combat vehicles and tanks in order to see the battle at the front lines.
Why is the Navy gay?
There all seamen.
My dad never came back with the milk. My mom told me he's in the army.
Know the nuclear bombs of the world.
🇷🇺🧨 a “bad” bomb
🇨🇳🧨 “ww3”
🇬🇧🧨 a “good” bomb
🇺🇸🧨 Japanese area testing
🇮🇱🧨 what bomb
🇮🇷🧨 just self defence
There was an enemy with a machine gun.
My commander said, "Un-arm the enemy."
So I ran over to the enemy and chopped his arms off.
What do eggs use in war? Eggk47s get my yolk this is really cracking me up!
They’d probably get shellshocked, wasn’t it all eggcellent? Ok, Ok, I’m headed for the egg-it.
Why did the new egg fell so good? It just got laid.
Stephen Hawking can't stand for army.
I'm going to bomb a little child (I'm an USA bomber).
IX + X = XXI. So XXI is two legions into one.
During the Great War, a man holding a machine gun shoots down a swarm of soldiers running on a swamp.
He says: "You came to the wrong swamp, Americans! You came to the wrong swamp!" *He didn't stop firing.*
Why did the French call Napoleon "Napo?" Because it is Napo[leon].