Military jokes
What do you call Hitler?
Gay.
What's after R-P-G?
W.
What do you call a black person with a gun? Black ops.
What is the difference between a Taliban outpost and a Pakistani primary school?
I don't know... I just fly the drone.
My grandpa's last words before he died in Vietnam were, "What the fuck did I step on?"
Why can't we see or sense kamikazes' bombs?
They're out of plane sight.
Drop me in Afghanistan with a Dodge Challenger Super Stock, a Mexican named Jose, a 6 pack of Dr. Pepper, a golden SCAR, a pack of chimichangas, and an M4A1, and I'll have the Taliban saying the Pledge of Allegiance in 4 hours.
What do U.S. airstrikes and dark humor have in common?
They're normally pointed towards Africa and the Middle East.
We need more women in the military! They can bleed for weeks and still not die!
How many gears does a French tank have?
One forward and six reverse.
Yo mama so fat, when she said, "I want a boat," they gave her a naval ship.
What is the strongest weapon in India?
The red button (this is a fact).
How do you become with NATO? Promise no more world wars by secretly performing military practices behind their back.
Yo, if Russia comes to the USA, just know their reboot cards don't expire.
Why did the French call Napoleon "Napo?" Because it is Napo[leon].
What did the soldier say when he sees a terrorist in a wheelchair?
RC-XD incoming.
Two fish are in a tank. One says, "You man the guns, I'll drive!"
Two atom soldiers are fighting against an army. One gets shot. He cried out, "I'm hit! I think I've lost an electron!"
"Are you sure?" asks the other.
"I'm positive!"
When the US Army found Chinese soldiers selling secrets to China, they said, "Looks like we have some chinks in our armor."
School and Boot Camp are a lot alike. The only difference is that in school, you don't have to get deployed to get shot at.