Why do orphans go to church? Because they can finally call someone "father."
What is the difference between giving money to a prostitute and giving money to a church? You don't get something in return if you give money to a church.
Five little monkeys jumping on the bed,
One fell off and bumped his head.
The momma called the doctor and the doctor said...
“We’re calling Child Protective Services.”
Why did the Secret Service detain Johnny Depp at the White House?
Because he was about to kick the cabinet.
Why do prostitutes love servicing zombies? They always leave a tip.
They said I was depressed, I should make an effort to do what I love. I had to pay a hooker for, twelve hours work. ... I felt nothing, but its was nice, being with someone who felt the same.
What do Painters and Prostitutes have in common? They're both paid for a good finish..
Why Did Michael Jackson call Boyz 2 Men ? He thought they were a delivery service
Michael Jackson died of shock when he found out boys 2 men wasn't a delivery service
What did the hooker say when she found out the cash she was paid with for services rendered was counterfeit?
I've been raped
What is black smells bad and long? Line to social services.
Man: I know how to please a woman. Woman: Then please leave me alone.
Man: I want to give myself to you. Woman: Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.
Man: Your hair color is fabulous. Woman: Thank you. It's on aisle three at the corner drug store.
Man: You look like a dream. Woman: Go back to sleep.
Man: I can tell that you want me. Woman: Yes, I want you to leave.
Man: Hey, baby, what's your sign? Woman: Do not enter. -OR- Stop.
Man: Your body is like a temple. Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.
Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.
Man: What's it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? Woman: I hate you.
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.
My family chastises me for MY job, but you should hear how my family provides "customer service" at their jobs. My mother works as a social worker and answers the phone like, "DYFS, you beat em, we treat em." My grandmother is a Medical Examiner and she answers the phone like, "City Morgue, you kill em, we chill em." These bitches have no class! I'm an actress and studio secretary. When you call the studio, I answer the phone professionally like, "Good afternoon. IHOP, International House Of Pussy. Creampie Cassie speaking".
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Hi! Welcome to Papa John's abortion clinic where yesterday's meat is todays treat. How may I be of service?
Two whores are watching the sun come up, splitting a bottle of Mad Dog and celebrating another night of servicing the general public. One asks the other: "Say. You ever been picked up by the fuzz?" Her friend thinks it over, "No...but I have been swung around by the tits a few times!"
Yo mama so stupid she thought instagram was a weed delivery service
Ring.. Ring.. Yes this this is Dave from the Orphanage, you make em we take em, how may I be of service?
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
*Knock Knock* Whos there? Social Services....
