Mental Health jokes
A man went to a library and asked the librarian if they had any books on suicide.
She replied "Oh fuck off, you won't bring it back!"
I'm so depressed, I gave my therapist trauma.
Emos are so predictable: sleep, eat, cut, repeat.
Why do emo kids not jump?
They're still in the sky.
What do you call a group of emos?
The Suasied Squid.
Memes
What do you call an emo group?
Suicide squad.
The last words from a depressive person are: "I finally see a train!"
What do you call a group of depressed teenagers?
Suicide Squad.
Men and depression have something in common; they’re always talking.
Me and my suicidal friend are close, so I took him to the mall to treat him.
We bought snacks, a new controller for his Xbox, and LED lights for his room to hopefully brighten his mood. After we scanned the last item, the machine beeped by itself.
Brother 2: We have these weird circles on the street! Government is tracking us!!!
Brother 1: They are just to sense cars so they can change lights. And it's the government.
Brother 2: Then why are there two in the left turn lane?
Brother 1: So one car isn't always going left and stopping the others.
Brother 2: Then why are they one car apart? Oh, to have three people going.
Brother 1: Correct. When I see one car on the first, I go on the second so my light changes.
Brother 2: You monster.
Brother 1: I wonder if they trigger by weight?
Brother 2: HA. Yo mama would trigger the sensor.
Brother 1: ARG. It's OUR MAMA you're disrespecting.
Mother (brother 1): What's going on boys? *looks in mirror* HOLY SH@& SHE IS PRETTY!
Brother 2: I think you should take your pills.
Brother 1: Found them.
*imaginary mother and brother fade away*
Thank you ELECTROBOOM for inspiring this joke/sh!t. Go subb to him.
Btw the (1) means it is just imaginary brother one acting like another brother.
What do you tell someone who has depression?
Answer: Just hang in there.
What keeps an emo kid from hitting the ground?
The rope.
Why do emos cut their arms? Because they can't cut the rope.
I named my grass emo, and it cut itself.
What can't you say to an emo?
Hang in there, buddy!
Who will hit the ground first, the girl or the apple?
I don't know, it depends if the girl is emo or not. If she is emo, the rope will catch her.
Um, I need help. How should I deal with depression?
Joke: I wish my grass was emo, so it would cut itself.
Which way is quicker to die? Noose or slitting my throat?
How many innocent succulents have been brutally killed by people trying to cure their depression?