Mental Health jokes

Brother 2: We have these weird circles on the street! Government is tracking us!!!

Brother 1: They are just to sense cars so they can change lights. And it's the government.

Brother 2: Then why are there two in the left turn lane?

Brother 1: So one car isn't always going left and stopping the others.

Brother 2: Then why are they one car apart? Oh, to have three people going.

Brother 1: Correct. When I see one car on the first, I go on the second so my light changes.

Brother 2: You monster.

Brother 1: I wonder if they trigger by weight?

Brother 2: HA. Yo mama would trigger the sensor.

Brother 1: ARG. It's OUR MAMA you're disrespecting.

Mother (brother 1): What's going on boys? *looks in mirror* HOLY SH@& SHE IS PRETTY!

Brother 2: I think you should take your pills.

Brother 1: Found them.

*imaginary mother and brother fade away*

Thank you ELECTROBOOM for inspiring this joke/sh!t. Go subb to him.

Btw the (1) means it is just imaginary brother one acting like another brother.

What do you tell someone who has depression?

Answer: Just hang in there.

What sits on the seabed and has anxiety? A nervous wreck.

Who will hit the ground first, the girl or the apple?

I don't know, it depends if the girl is emo or not. If she is emo, the rope will catch her.

Um, I need help. How should I deal with depression?

Joke: I wish my grass was emo, so it would cut itself.

My therapist told me to write letters to the people you hate and then burn them.

I did that, but now I don't know what to do with the letters.

SLADE is proof that mental aging can go in REVERSE.

What keeps an emo kid from hitting the ground?

The rope.

What do us emos all have in common?

Depression. Anxiety. The sole desire to just start saying you wanna kys right out of the blue a lot and saying "I CAN'T WAIT TO JUMP OF THAT BUILDING SOON!" and other people say, "Idgaf, do it, all of us would be happy."

Why do emos cut their arms? Because they can't cut the rope.

I named my grass emo, and it cut itself.

What can't you say to an emo?

Hang in there, buddy!

What is the difference between Superman and an emo kid? Superman can actually land.

Which way is quicker to die? Noose or slitting my throat?

How many innocent succulents have been brutally killed by people trying to cure their depression?

What's a depressed kid's least favorite game?

Cut the rope.

What is the difference between an emo and a normal person?

An emo slits.

My mental health.

My boyfriend always likes when I wear my fishnet sleeves. He says it looks great on me, but he doesn’t know that my skin is covered with scars... no one does. No one questions why I wear them everyday. I hope it stays like that because I can’t deal with my mom finding out that I still hurt myself.

What do you call a gay person in Antarctica?

Bi-Polar.