Mental Health jokes
What do you call a group of depressed teenagers?
Suicide Squad.
Me and my suicidal friend are close, so I took him to the mall to treat him.
We bought snacks, a new controller for his Xbox, and LED lights for his room to hopefully brighten his mood. After we scanned the last item, the machine beeped by itself.
Men and depression have something in common; they’re always talking.
I'm so depressed, I gave my therapist trauma.
How do you win an argument against an emo kid?
Give him a gun, he'll just shoot himself.
Brother 2: We have these weird circles on the street! Government is tracking us!!!
Brother 1: They are just to sense cars so they can change lights. And it's the government.
Brother 2: Then why are there two in the left turn lane?
Brother 1: So one car isn't always going left and stopping the others.
Brother 2: Then why are they one car apart? Oh, to have three people going.
Brother 1: Correct. When I see one car on the first, I go on the second so my light changes.
Brother 2: You monster.
Brother 1: I wonder if they trigger by weight?
Brother 2: HA. Yo mama would trigger the sensor.
Brother 1: ARG. It's OUR MAMA you're disrespecting.
Mother (brother 1): What's going on boys? *looks in mirror* HOLY SH@& SHE IS PRETTY!
Brother 2: I think you should take your pills.
Brother 1: Found them.
*imaginary mother and brother fade away*
Thank you ELECTROBOOM for inspiring this joke/sh!t. Go subb to him.
Btw the (1) means it is just imaginary brother one acting like another brother.
What do you tell someone who has depression?
Answer: Just hang in there.
Why do emos cut their arms? Because they can't cut the rope.
How many innocent succulents have been brutally killed by people trying to cure their depression?
What is the difference between Superman and an emo kid? Superman can actually land.
Which way is quicker to die? Noose or slitting my throat?
Who will hit the ground first, the girl or the apple?
I don't know, it depends if the girl is emo or not. If she is emo, the rope will catch her.
Um, I need help. How should I deal with depression?
Joke: I wish my grass was emo, so it would cut itself.
I named my grass emo, and it cut itself.
What can't you say to an emo?
Hang in there, buddy!
What's a depressed kid's least favorite game?
Cut the rope.
My therapist said, "Time heals all wounds," so I cut her.
My therapist told me to write letters to the people you hate and then burn them.
I did that, but now I don't know what to do with the letters.
What sits on the seabed and has anxiety? A nervous wreck.
What do us emos all have in common?
Depression. Anxiety. The sole desire to just start saying you wanna kys right out of the blue a lot and saying "I CAN'T WAIT TO JUMP OF THAT BUILDING SOON!" and other people say, "Idgaf, do it, all of us would be happy."