Medicine jokes
What do you give a sick bird?
Tweet-ment!
What does a doctor do to make you better?
Helium.
Son: I heard mom got stung by a few bees this morning. Is she ok? Hospital?
Dad: She's ok now, no hospital.
Dad: She had to take the deep penis.
Son: Umm...... WHAT!?
Dad: I had to inject her with an EPIC PENIS.
Dad: Oh for god's sakes.
Dad: Epi Pen.
Jig, Jill, Bill ate a pill.
What do you call an STD?
Elenji.
Memes
What’s a guy with Tourette’s favorite app to use? Tiktok.
Did you hear about the "Funny Doctor"?
He'll have you in "Stitches"!
They say if Viagra lasts more than four hours, call the doctor? I’m just wondering, it’s been six hours and I’m still hard, should I call the doctor or hop on another woman?
A: What did the podiatrist say to the double amputee?
Q: Sorry, but I can't help you.
What's the difference between someone with dystonia and someone with misophonia?
One makes the annoying noises, while the other hates the annoying noises.
If LAUGHTER is the best medicine, BLESSEDBRIAN'S JOKES are the disease.
Q: What's green and yellow and eats balls?
A: Gonorrhea.
What is it called when the gynecologist slanders your grandfather?
A pap smear.
Why did the skeleton die from laughter?
'Cause they broke all his "funny bones!"
Your loved one dies and you call the Coroner's office. They answer, "Hello, this is Benny from the Coroner's office, you stab 'em, we slab 'em, how may I be of service?"
I got something long stuck inside me last night, dammit, that needle hurt.
Q: What is the most expensive haircut? A: Chemo therapy.
There was a guy who got his whole left side shot off.
When he was at the hospital and he woke up, he asked the doctor if he was okay.
The doctor said, "You're all right now."
A Make-A-Wish patient wanted to see Black Panther IRL, so I pulled his plug.
Your mama is so stupid, she made an appointment with Dr. Pepper.