Medicine jokes
How do people with hydrocephalus wear standard-size helmets?
What do you give a sick bird?
Tweet-ment!
What does a doctor do to make you better?
Helium.
What’s a guy with Tourette’s favorite app to use? Tiktok.
Doctor: I will deliver the baby right away.
Dad: I would like the baby to have a liver.
If you execute someone in ventricular fibrillation in the electric chair, will they come back to life once and then die?
What do you call an overly clingy child?
A tumor.
I've been taking Viagras for sunburn.
It keeps the sheets off my bed at night!
How much did the liver weigh?
It weighed a skeleTON.
Jig, Jill, Bill ate a pill.
Son: I heard mom got stung by a few bees this morning. Is she ok? Hospital?
Dad: She's ok now, no hospital.
Dad: She had to take the deep penis.
Son: Umm...... WHAT!?
Dad: I had to inject her with an EPIC PENIS.
Dad: Oh for god's sakes.
Dad: Epi Pen.
What do you call an STD?
Elenji.
Wow, all these jokes are humerus!
What goes in and comes out and makes you feel good but isn't sexual?
(Insulin)
Q: What's green and yellow and eats balls?
A: Gonorrhea.
Q: What's the difference between a Genealogist and a Gynecologist?
A: One looks up the family tree and the other looks up the family bush.
If laughter is contagious, Kris's jokes are immunity.
"I'd love to give everyone another shot."
Harry, 26, works at the women's clinic.
A Make-A-Wish patient wanted to see Black Panther IRL, so I pulled his plug.
There was a guy who got his whole left side shot off.
When he was at the hospital and he woke up, he asked the doctor if he was okay.
The doctor said, "You're all right now."