Medicine jokes
I've been taking Viagras for sunburn.
It keeps the sheets off my bed at night!
Wow, all these jokes are humerus!
What goes in and comes out and makes you feel good but isn't sexual?
(Insulin)
How much did the liver weigh?
It weighed a skeleTON.
What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?
The taste!
Memes
How do people with hydrocephalus wear standard-size helmets?
Son: I heard mom got stung by a few bees this morning. Is she ok? Hospital?
Dad: She's ok now, no hospital.
Dad: She had to take the deep penis.
Son: Umm...... WHAT!?
Dad: I had to inject her with an EPIC PENIS.
Dad: Oh for god's sakes.
Dad: Epi Pen.
What do you give a sick bird?
Tweet-ment!
Why do men find it so difficult to solve puzzles after taking Viagra?
Because they just keep getting harder and harder!
Did you hear about the roofer who went to the doctor? He had shingles.
A: What did the podiatrist say to the double amputee?
Q: Sorry, but I can't help you.
What's the difference between someone with dystonia and someone with misophonia?
One makes the annoying noises, while the other hates the annoying noises.
What is it called when the gynecologist slanders your grandfather?
A pap smear.
What do hospitals do when they receive donor organs? They organize them.
What do you get when you mix LSD and birth control? A trip without kids.
We recently found out my grandpa is addicted to Viagra.
No one is taking it harder than grandpa.
If laughter is contagious, Kris's jokes are immunity.
There was a guy who got his whole left side shot off.
When he was at the hospital and he woke up, he asked the doctor if he was okay.
The doctor said, "You're all right now."
Mamma mia abortion clinic!
Your loss is our sauce.
A Make-A-Wish patient wanted to see Black Panther IRL, so I pulled his plug.