What's the difference between someone with dystonia and someone with misophonia?
One makes the annoying noises, while the other hates the annoying noises.
They say if Viagra lasts more than four hours, call the doctor? I’m just wondering, it’s been six hours and I’m still hard, should I call the doctor or hop on another woman?
What does a doctor do to make you better?
Helium.
Wow, all these jokes are humerus!
What do you call an STD?
Elenji.
What do you give a sick bird?
Tweet-ment!
Son: I heard mom got stung by a few bees this morning. Is she ok? Hospital?
Dad: She's ok now, no hospital.
Dad: She had to take the deep penis.
Son: Umm...... WHAT!?
Dad: I had to inject her with an EPIC PENIS.
Dad: Oh for god's sakes.
Dad: Epi Pen.
Jig, Jill, Bill ate a pill.
What goes in and comes out and makes you feel good but isn't sexual?
(Insulin)
Why do men find it so difficult to solve puzzles after taking Viagra?
Because they just keep getting harder and harder!
Mamma mia abortion clinic!
Your loss is our sauce.
A Make-A-Wish patient wanted to see Black Panther IRL, so I pulled his plug.
There was a guy who got his whole left side shot off.
When he was at the hospital and he woke up, he asked the doctor if he was okay.
The doctor said, "You're all right now."
I got something long stuck inside me last night, dammit, that needle hurt.
Your loved one dies and you call the Coroner's office. They answer, "Hello, this is Benny from the Coroner's office, you stab 'em, we slab 'em, how may I be of service?"
Why did the skeleton die from laughter?
'Cause they broke all his "funny bones!"
What is it called when the gynecologist slanders your grandfather?
A pap smear.
Q: What is the most expensive haircut? A: Chemo therapy.
Your mama is so stupid, she made an appointment with Dr. Pepper.
Why is it painful to have your attorney with you in the hospital?
The damages are severe.
