Medicine jokes
What do you call an overly clingy child?
A tumor.
I've been taking Viagras for sunburn.
It keeps the sheets off my bed at night!
How much did the liver weigh?
It weighed a skeleTON.
How do people with hydrocephalus wear standard-size helmets?
What do you call an STD?
Elenji.
Wow, all these jokes are humerus!
What goes in and comes out and makes you feel good but isn't sexual?
(Insulin)
What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?
The taste!
What do you give a sick bird?
Tweet-ment!
What does a doctor do to make you better?
Helium.
How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb?
To get to the other side.
Q: What's green and yellow and eats balls?
A: Gonorrhea.
There was a guy who got his whole left side shot off.
When he was at the hospital and he woke up, he asked the doctor if he was okay.
The doctor said, "You're all right now."
Mamma mia abortion clinic!
Your loss is our sauce.
Q: What's the difference between a Genealogist and a Gynecologist?
A: One looks up the family tree and the other looks up the family bush.
If laughter is contagious, Kris's jokes are immunity.
We recently found out my grandpa is addicted to Viagra.
No one is taking it harder than grandpa.
A Make-A-Wish patient wanted to see Black Panther IRL, so I pulled his plug.
What do you get when you mix LSD and birth control? A trip without kids.
Your mama is so stupid, she made an appointment with Dr. Pepper.