Medicine jokes
We wrote letters to a kid with cancer. My letter read, "It's a bumpy road but soon you will have a straight path." People didn't realize it was meant for his heart monitor.
Michael Jackson gets really ill, so he's rushed to hospital. When they get there, he says, "Am I in heaven?"
The doctor replies, "Nah, sir, we're just taking a quick shortcut through the children's ward."
A book went to the doctor’s office and said: “Doctor, doctor, I’ve got thesaurus throat ever.”
If Stephen Hawking gets a heart attack, where do you go, the hospital or Curry's PC World?
What do you call a Black man having a seizure?
Chocolate shake.
A seizure is just an excuse for break dancing.
The doctor told me I'm color blind...
Me: That's out of the purple!
What did the doctor say to the terminally ill Power Ranger?
It's Morphine Time.
What's the best haircut?
Chemotherapy.
Did you hear about the man who died of a Viagra overdose?
They couldn't close the casket.
It's all fun and games until they start dancing.
Why do pills work?
Because they are white.
What do you do when you get rid of prostate cancer? Cell-ablate!
Somebody give me a peanut. I just ate an EpiPen.
Why is the disease lung cancer never hungry? Because it's eating your lungs.
Why did the lemon 🍋 go to the doctor 👩⚕️?
Because he had a sour stomach.
Why are cancer kids so fly?
Because they got the drip.
What's the difference between a blowjob and cough syrup?
They can both give you relief and make you gag at the same time.
"Cancer gives you weed. It’s not healthy."
Q: Why did the Mexican start taking anti-anxiety pills?
A: Because he was taking them for His-panic attacks.