Medicine jokes

"hvhuhdsjcjdsijdskdsivhdsvhsjdvnsjdvdshvgdshgsdhfgh" That's what my friend said when he gave an EpiPen. I don't know why, though.

What time is it if you sprain an ankle or an arm?

Time to go to the doctor! 🥼

The doctor told me I was so retarded, I was required to ride two wheelchairs.

Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains! Well, pull yourself together, then.

Doctor, doctor! My brother's crazy! He thinks he's a chicken. Is he egging around? Yes, but we need to get the eggs.

Woman: Doctor, doctor! I keep thinking I'm an elephant! Doctor: Run around the room. Then the woman stomps around the room and breaks things.

Doctor, doctor! I fell like a bell! Shall I ring you, then? When can you ring me up?

Doctor, doctor! I have a ball stuck in my throat! Shall I bat it and get a run, then?

Knock knock. Who’s there? Mimi. Mimi who? Mimi’s got cancer.

Every time I go to the store I look in the deodorant section and my dyslexia acts up. Instead of "antiperspirant," I read "antidepressant." At least I get a bunch of extra snacks out of my shopping mistakes.

What do you call a modern-day plague doctor? A COVID doctor.

What does a doctor do to make you better?

Helium.

What do you call an STD?

Elenji.

They say if Viagra lasts more than four hours, call the doctor? I’m just wondering, it’s been six hours and I’m still hard, should I call the doctor or hop on another woman?

If LAUGHTER is the best medicine, BLESSEDBRIAN'S JOKES are the disease.

Did you hear about the "Funny Doctor"?

He'll have you in "Stitches"!

What's the best thing about stage 4 cancer?

There's no stage 5.

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb?

To get to the other side.

If you execute someone in ventricular fibrillation in the electric chair, will they come back to life once and then die?

What’s a guy with Tourette’s favorite app to use? Tiktok.

Doctor: I will deliver the baby right away.

Dad: I would like the baby to have a liver.

Jig, Jill, Bill ate a pill.

What do you call an overly clingy child?

A tumor.

I've been taking Viagras for sunburn.

It keeps the sheets off my bed at night!