ME jokes
Did you hear about the Chinese student?
Me neither.
A woman walked up to me and asked me for a joke. I stood there with a straight face knowing women can't be funny.
So, I was laying in bed and it's winter, so my room is always cold because the heater doesn't work.
And I was thinking.... It would be warmer if someone else was laying here with me.... Then I laughed because who would wanna be with me. Hahaha
Hello everyone, I would just like to apologize for participating in the protest and everything else I said. I was wrong and have recently found a way to see all these jokes as funny. I hope that you all can forgive me. ALYA
There were these two guys in a lunatic asylum... and one night, they decide they don't like living in an asylum anymore. They decide they're going to escape!
So, like, they get up onto the roof, and there, just across this narrow gap, they see the rooftops of the town, stretching away in the moonlight... stretching away to freedom. Now, the first guy, he jumps right across with no problem. But his friend, his friend didn't dare make the leap. You see... You see, he's afraid of falling.
So then, the first guy has an idea... He says "Hey! I have my flashlight with me! I'll shine it across the gap between the buildings. You can walk along the beam and join me!" B-but the second guy just shakes his head. He suh-says... He says "Wh-what do you think I am? Crazy? You'd turn it off when I was half way across!"
When you end up pregnant...
Mom told me if a boy touched my breast I should say "DON'T," and if he touched me down there I should say "STOP." But Dad, he touched me both places at once so I said, "DON'T STOP! DON'T STOP!" 😂
Sister: Hey sis, how are you today?
Me: Oh, good, you?
Sister: Good, 'cause I heard you finally got a good living life.
Akeld: Do you think I should get an edges or a tapeline?
Me: Why not make both of them there? They're both messed up anyway.
Orphans have it lucky.
When teachers threaten to call parents, the orphans say, "Try me."
When teachers give homework, orphans say, "Where?"
My brothers kept annoying me.
I told them I would disembowel them if they kept it up.
It was an empty threat—right after I was done.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Die.
Die who?
Me, I want to die.
My mom showed me that she could deep throat a banana. I asked my mom how you know how to do that. My mom said, "I practice on your new stepfather."
If you make a joke about me, I'll tell my mom.
Okay, I love reading Freshfry's conversations with random people. I love the ones where he has a full blown talking battle. I personally like reading them and I love reading them on my Chromebook while I play Call of Duty and Fortnite on my Xbox.
If you guys out there like reading Freshfry's conversations with random people, just comment and tell me. Talk to you guys later, watersharky out.
What is black and white and red all over?
Answer: A newspaper.
That is what my 3-year-old told me.
I've been looking for my parents for years.
For the life of me, I can't remember where I hid their bodies.
I hope you SEA me around later, 'cause I SHORE won't stay here for long.
My girl got mad at me last night for saying to my mom that she had a dildo ready at all times and is always hard, so my mom wanted to see. So I whipped out my penis and my mom said it’s bigger than your dad’s!
My gf told me I have to be more in touch with my feminine side, so I crashed the car.
America: Saying, "I beg your pardon" in British English is like saying; "What did you say to me you orphaned big forehead shitty ass small dick bitch?"
UK: You Americans are so fucking rude.
America: Oh, I'm SoRrY mIsTeR fAnCy PaNts 👖