ME jokes

"Being broke is a disease, stay the fuck away from me."

Me: What are we doing in HPE?

Friend: Fitness.

Me: Fitting deez nuts in your mouth.

My boyfriend and I were playing baseball last night with some of our friends. Halfway through the game we took a break and he asked me to hold his balls for him whilst he went to the toilet.

All our friends were shocked when I went into the boys' bathroom with him.

What's the difference between a knife and me?

One has a point.

So two dudes were at a bar and out of nowhere they hear, "Oi mate, talk to me like that again, I'm gonna shove this stick so far up your ass you'll look like a Popsicle."

You call me ugly, but maybe that is why we look alike.

Watersharky, do you hate me?????

Can anyone play me in a no limits femdom RP on Kik?

Does anyone else just want to die, or is it just me?

My sister: See you at home in about an hour.

Me: Okay.

My sister: Sister, where are you? *She looks out the window.*

Me: Sis, I'm here, can't you see me?

Sister: OMG, she's dead!

Me: Yeah, I know, but can't you see me?

Hey Gwen, reply to me and say if everything is alright.

Me: What's that sound?

Ex: What?

Me: Oh, it's the elevator going up. BYEEEE see you on another level!

Hello, I'm Ariana. I'm looking for someone. Anyone wanna date me?

Ariana

Account for me too, baby👧! Is so cute together with game slot jokes.

This girl called me cute, and I told her don’t call me that. She says why, I told her, “Bitch, call me the Hokage!”

Girl: Rip, mother, I love you.

Me: Sorry for your loss.

Girl: Stop, I have a boyfriend.

Me: Stop, I have a mother.

Ok, ok, who is trying to be my "long lost brother"? Because last time I checked, I didn't have any sisters or brothers, so stop trying to steal my fame from me and give up. A lot of other people already know you are fake, so get off this website OR JUST STOP!!!

Karens yell, I scream, my mum fucks me.

There's at least 856 pages of these newest puns. I couldn't finish, because it took me an hour just to get that far. Just saying, that's a lot of jokes!

"Go get me the lamb sauce!"