ME jokes
Ask me who Joe is.
Who is Joe?
JOE MAMA!
My friend: Yo stupid.
Me: Is that right, and what exactly have you done in your lifetime that makes you Einstein?
My friend: *rolls eyes and says whatever.*
Me: Keep on rolling them, you might find your brain in there.
Have you ever heard of the eye tear?
Me either.
Me: Knock knock.
Some dude on the street: Who's there?
Me: Whowhowho.
Dude: Whowhowho who?
Whowhowhowhowhowhowhowhowhowhowhowhowho.
I had a friend named Wemiyoe... We call him "we me you."
Memes
Never talk about 9/11 to me. I lost my dad in it.
He was a great pilot ;(
Chris said to me in P.E. that he likes Jacob, and he said he wants to go straight to the bedroom.
Friend: Ur sister after you were born. 😭
Me: Ur brother after chemotherapy. 😵
Jesse: Do you like my ball?
Mike: Yes, they are very big. I can’t even fit them in my mouth. You bought a new ball, right?
Jesse: No, they do not leave me.
You: You are such a flick pain.
Me: You are flick pain to my sight.
OnlyFans, but it’s me smacking your baby daddies with Twisted Tea.
Only Cans.
*having sex on lexapro*
Her: Cum for me, baby!
Me: I'm trying!
Me: And this is the room I cry in.
Date: You've said that about every room.
Me: Correct!
After standing in line staring at McDonald's menu for 17 minutes,
Me: "Okay, I'm ready. Can you help me not be sad all the time?"
Me: "WYD?"
Her: "Just dealing with a lot: depression, anxiety, and the feeling that I'll never be enough."
Me: "Without me? Lol"
I'm going to start taking confetti with me to therapy so when my therapist asks me, "How are you?" I can say "sad" and toss the confetti everywhere. It'll be like a real-life iMessage!
A man came up to me and threatened me with his milk, cheese, and butter... how dairy!
I play with balls. Not me, the girl that was "playing something."
I'm bored so can y'all ask me some questions and I have to answer them?
What's a native chick say after sex?
"Get off me, Dad, you're crushing my smokes!"