ME jokes
I went up to the deaf kid and said, "I’m going to punch you in 3, 2, 1." And he ended up with a broken nose, and I said, "You should have listened to me!"
You hear that? That’s the sound of me not caring.
I'm a poor Indian, please help me.
The old cookoo master on the top of Mt. Qinshan told me this when I was eating sushi:
"The first bite tastes like heaven, the second takes you there."
😳
Me: Hey, are you going to Sawcon?
Sensei: What is that?
Me: Saw con deez nu...
Sensei: Oh, is it for people with ligma?
Me: What’s ligm...
Sensei: 😈
Me: no no no no
Sensei: Ligma ba...
Me and my wife decided we would only smoke after sex.
I'm still on the first pack. She's up to 2 packs a week.
One time I was with my uncle. He said to me to pass him the marble on the floor. All I heard was my butt clapping with his sausage.
I pushed a disabled kid over, and he came crawling back to me.
Me: I wouldn’t want to be with a shitmate.
Shitmate: You’re so shitable.
Me: Bring banana ice cream.
Shitmate: Never happening.
POV: me telling a joke.
My dad: nobody likes a smart-ass.
Me: Nobody likes a smart-ass until the smart-ass finds a cure for cancer.
Me and a girl went on a walk...
Then she noticed me, then we went for a run. :)
What did the shoe tell the feet?
"Put me on your feet!"
Your mom is so old, she walked into an antique store and they kept her.
Your mom is so dumb, she called me asking for my phone #.
I play with balls. Not me, the girl that was "playing something."
I'm bored so can y'all ask me some questions and I have to answer them?
"Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"
"Mary."
"Mary who?"
"Marry me!"
My country is so corrupt that it voted me as the most sexiest man.
Victory assured, I will continue like that till I'm six feet under.
What do eggs use in war? Eggk47s get my yolk this is really cracking me up!
They’d probably get shellshocked, wasn’t it all eggcellent? Ok, Ok, I’m headed for the egg-it.
Why did the new egg fell so good? It just got laid.
Roses are red, violets are blue, give me free OnlyFans so I don't touch the youth.
"CoComelon meme,
No matter how fast I run, I can't escape my problems - OULEH...
Nobody loves me .v."