ME jokes

What does pussy taste like in chocolate cream pie?

Don't ever ask me no damn question like that. I ain't never had no damn chocolate cream pie, you crazy?

Me: Knock, knock. You: Who's there? Me: Music. You: Music who? Answer: A guitar is a violin without a stick.

I'm pretty sure that "MOI MOI" means "ME! ME!" does it?

A man attacked me with cheese and milk. How dairy!

I'm jealous of cancer. My dad beat me but never beat cancer.

My grandpa asked me to pass him his phone, but I passed him a calculator. He couldn't tell the difference.

Free blacks in the Civil War is the same as me drawing a reverse card in Uno.

Me: Hi Jaiden.

Bully/Jaiden Harper: Leave me alone, weirdo.

Me: Wow, says the one who didn't pass 3rd grade.

Bully/Jaiden Harper: *hits*

Me: *calls FBI and puts on gloves and stabs random person then gives knife to Jaiden and takes off gloves* Bye bye.

FBI: FBI OPEN UP!!!!!!!!!

Friend 1: How can the skeleton tell it was going to rain?

Me: He could feel it in his bones.

Friend 1: No, he read the forecast, you fucking idiot!

Heheh ;3

Don't tell me to accept trannies for who they are when they can't even accept themselves for who they are.

Back in ancient Greece, there was a Greek Skyrim, but instead of FUS ROH DAH, the main character said, "Me damnit, Ganymede, get the #10 lightning bolt, I hate it when Helios lets his kids drive!"

If you don't get this, look up the story of Phaethon, and if you STILL don't get it, then you are dumb.

I don't know why my boyfriend's dad doesn't like me. Maybe because we had sex?

I met a lovely girl at a friend's house party, so I went and introduced myself by saying I'm Noah, what's yours?

She turned around angrily and offended and said, "I identify as a hockey puck, didn't you see the sign?"

To which I replied, "Bitch, that says hickey puck. If you identify as a hockey puck, then let me hit you!"

I met a lovely girl at a friend's house party, so I went and introduced myself by saying I'm Noah, what's yours?

She turned around angrily and offended and said, "I identify as a hockey puck, didn't you see the sign?"

To which I replied, "Bitch, that says hickey puck. If you identify as a hockey puck, then let me hit you!"

A ball hit me in the vagina.

I ask my sister why the Chinese owner brings us free food all the time.

My sister said to me "I love him long time."

Ur mum smells like shit, yeah, so she sucks a man off and washing machine. Yo, don’t at me, yeah, you chicken breath.

Why do people have sex?

Because they like going "Ahhhhhhhhhhh fuck me, bitch, I love you!"

"When God sends me to hell... I want him to hesitate." -Techno

Thank you, anonymous user, for helping me with math a few months ago.

Now I got a 31 on the ACT.