ME jokes

My name is Devonair.

When I get a haircut, it's always bald.

Kids make fun of me, they call me "dang-near bald head."

My name is Devonair *dev-on-near*

I always thought they were making fun of me because of my name pronounced near.

Guys, add me in Discord.

"Prince, be honest, do you still love me?"

I'm never going bungee jumping because a cord bridged me into the world. It's not taking me out.

I wanna see this pic of me in a bra! Where do I find it?

"Gwen don't want break up! Please talk to me!"

"Prince, why that girl, not me! What about me!!!!!!!"

Knock knock! Who's there? Prince! Prince who? Prince please talk to me!

Gwen, this needs to stop, so please, this is not a dating website, go on Tinder or something, just not here. Hate me if it makes you feel better, but this is sickening!

Why do orphans like the game Adopt Me? Because they've never been adopted in their life.

"I see, I see." "Oh, do you see?" "I see 1st place looking at me." "Hi, don’t be shy, just say hi." She was shy, she didn’t say hi. Softball cheers.

I can't believe my friends. They killed themselves without me!

Can you see me?

Q: What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner at a stop sign?

A: The drunk guy runs it, and the stoner waits for it to turn green!

There are two muffins baking in the oven. One muffin says to the other, “Phew, is it getting hot in here or is it just me?”

The other muffin says, “AAAAHHH!! A TALKING MUFFIN!”

Knock knock. Who's there? Daisy. Daisy who? Daisy me rollinnnnnn!

Spy: Hahaha.

Me: What?

Spy: Time to pick up your mother.

Me: Oh no....

This is a bad day for me.

Me.

The joke is as short as me.

My friend told me I should be a stand up comedian but... I prefer sitting.