ME jokes
Why do orphans like tigers? I don't know, you tell me.
If you make a joke about me, I'll tell my mom.
My enemy likes to act like he’s stupid sometimes, and so once he asked me what a sin was, and I responded with, “you.”
My mom was telling me about different pastas. So many pastabilities!
Call me fat? You call me fat because you think that you’re pretty, but you ain’t. You’re just a musty, dusty, rusty Cardi B.
I gave my sister a compliment and said she's pretty, then while she was saying thanks, I said, "pretty ugly."
Me: You are pretty. Her: Thanks. Me: Pretty ugly.
Somebody asks me: How many YT subs you got?
Me: More than you!
Tell rumors about me, but please don't say I'm in a love relationship.
We were watching a 9/11 documentary in class.
I started playing the Angry Birds theme song. That didn't fly well with people, the teacher yelled at me like a bomb, and I landed on the ground.
My mom told me to help her with the laser, but it was opposite day, so I pushed her down.
She said help, so I kicked her.
Me: How do you celebrate Christmas?
Orphan: I don't know what you mean.
Me: There is no one to give a present.
I lost my job at the bank. Some lady asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her.
At weddings my mom always tells me I’m next. So I say the same to her, at funerals.
Silly joke! Where’s my natcho? You have it :excuse me it’s nacho cheese 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Your hairline is so big, it distracts me from your face.
Are you a builder? Because you are giving me an erection.
Why is America bad at Clash of Clans?
Because they already lost two towers.
What do me and an emo kid have in common:
We both like to hang.
My girlfriend asked me to hand her lipstick, but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn't talking to me.
My teacher made us watch a movie about the struggles of being an overweight person in this day and age.
It was really heavy on me.