ME jokes
Nobody: The crickets in the back: Talk talk talk.
Me: JOE MAMA OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Orphan: I finally have a father!
God: And who is that?
Orphan: You!
God: Who the hell is you? Well, it's not me.
Orphan: :l
Is it just me, or is it normal to you when people scream?
"Prince, please talk to me!"
I just wanted to say whoever is a faker pretending to be me, that you are literally ruining my life right now. And I can literally not take this right now in life and that I just want peace so please, please stop.
It's my bday
Prince, where are you? Please talk to me! I swear I love you!
Prince, please talk to me for real...
Let's sort this out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Please, please answer me. I need an answer!!!!!!!!!!!! BTW, Princess, my name is Gwen, and I am not a faker!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Q: My dad woke up one morning about to go to work, but he was still really tired, so he decided the quickest way to wake him up was to slap him in the face.
So he asked me to do it, but I guess I don't know my own strength, and so he went back to sleep again...
My ex misses me, but her aim is getting better.
When I was a kid, my mother told me I could be anyone I wanted to be.
Turns out, I'm just a burden.
Looking at me is like being on your phone, in a car, on a long trip. You're fine for the first 10 minutes, then after that you feel sick.
Me: I have a dream.
Mom: What?
Me: For you to fucking shut up.
It's me, the Joje.
Alex, respond to me, please! LOL
I've heard stories of my mother. She was a teenager and left me in the blender, but luckily the power cut out, like at the orphanage.
Woman: Will you love me after marriage as well?
Man: That will depend on your husband. If he will, so of course I would!
Wanna hear a joke? It's called me :|
Dad: Where is my son?
Son: Come join me with musical chairs, except we stand on them.
Dad: Ok, so do we put this round our neck?
Son: YES!
Mum: AHHHHHHHHHHHH
Katgod, can you get your girlfriend? She's messing with me, and I'm gonna hurt soon.
Me: I have the body of a 28 year old.
Her: Prove it.
Me: (opens freezer)