ME jokes

Hey Gwen, uhhhhhhh, fresfry told me to tell you I like you. Jk, I don't.

I thought my wife was joking when she said she was gonna leave me because I wouldn’t stop singing “I'm a believer,” but then I saw her face.

Jk: Jimin, why are you so small?

Jm: Excujjimi?

Jk: No offense, Jim.

Jm: Yah, call me hyung!

Jk: But I'm bigger.

Jm: I'm older!

Jk: I'm the top and you're the bottom, so I don't think it's right to call you hyung.

Jm:......

Joe, I wish you had never asked me to scout for a fresh tight end.

What did one bear reply to his bad pun?

"Bear with me!"

Some guy asked me, "Are you better than my meat?" I said, "No, I'm not better, I just beat it all the time."

What do me and an emo kid have in common:

We both like to hang.

Jarod (😏): Man, Breya Smith is so hot! The things I would do!

Y’uree (😟): Yes, but... she moved, remember? Her father found a new “job”, so she is now leaving until the fall.

Jarod (😞): Ah yes! BECAUSE!!!

Y’uree (😯): I don’t know, bitch. Maybe she has other things to do, or we can give her a good gangbang before she leaves!

Jarod: (😒): No, I really want to fuck her by myself!

Jarod (🤔): Hmmmmmmm... mhmmmmmm... ummmmm... hmmmmmm... not a bad idea!

Jarod (🤨): Or not?

Y’uree (🙄): Shut up, man!

Jarod (😠): NO, I mean it! THAT GIRL HAS THE BEST ASS FOR ORAL SEX!

Y’uree (🙄😒): Bruh... listen... gangbang... sex... the same

Halyei (😊): Hello Y’uree and Jarod. How are you guys today?

Y’uree (😏): Well, sexy girls like you should be ass-fucked or fucked so hard that all you can do is talk or nothing at all?

Halyei (😘): Thank you, I suck dicks too!

Jarod (😒): Are you Breya???

Halyei (😕): No... do I like that flying bastard???

Jarod (😣): Ugh... no... baby, you’re free to go!

Halyei (😔): Sorry, I miss cursing and having sex with her too! (😟) Sorry for being an idiot. (😔) I really miss her. (🤔) Maybe you and I can give her a threesome??? (🙄) No, I’m not gay! ( ) WHY!!! (😌) Can you come to the please fuck me! It’s the fuckable girls contest and I want to win! (😨) Sorry!

I'm so mad I got arrested for rape, even though the girl never said no. The prosecution said she was mute, but how was I supposed to know? She never told me.

My uncle sayEd to me once, "You're my favorite child." And I said, "You mean Nece?" He said, "No, my favorite child."

So in prep class, the students were asked to write a letter to their grandparents for Grandparents Day.

Little Johnny's friend, Little Sally, wrote things like, "Thank you," and, "You are so nice!" And Little Johnny goes, "What are you doing? You got it wrong!" So Sally says, "What do you mean? It's a letter." Little Johnny says, "Why did you do it like that? Just write a letter from the alphabet like the teacher said!" Then he says, "I wrote a J to remind them of me!"

I'm Black, when a cop sees me, he shoots.

God, you’re having a good day?

Me: Yes, beats burning in hell.

add me in Roblox wholetthedogsoutyou1 lol who let the dogs out you you you you you?

When my girlfriend broke up with me, I took her wheelchair. I always knew she would come crawling back.

Roses are red,

I am dead.

You could call me wet, or I will keep your dread.

"Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? You're adopted. Haley says she likes me more than you."

My friend died. Me and my other bestie start singing the coffin song. My bestie in the coffin, why are you not sad? Why are you still alive?

It cost me $100 to ride a taxi over your belly, it was that big!

Hey mylady.

Hey bro.

Me mylady.

Me a bro.