ME jokes
Me people call me emo.
Older cousin: Why?
Because I always have my hood up and wear black cloths and wear black cross earrings.
Yesterday a woman stabbed me, so I stabbed her back. Then I realized she was the vaccine woman.
Fuck people who are bigger than me physically, emotionally, mentally, economically, and socially.
My girlfriend’s dog died, so I bought her another, identical one.
She just screamed at me and said: “What am I meant to do with two dead dogs?!?”
My girlfriend told me that she wonders what our kids will look like.
No, they will be wondering what I look like.
When I died, my friend said he'd cover me.
Mrs. Kadie, I just heard about a FGTEEV video about vegan nuggets.
Duddy: Sup FGTEEVERS, me and James Marsden just got some Chick-fil-A.
Viewers: Got ya again Mrs. Kadie.
Mrs. Kadie: Vincent and James, I am going to push you off your roof.
Duddy and James: AHHHHHHH!
My girlfriend broke up with me today. Her mom had to take her to daycare. 😢😢😢
My parents used to make me and my siblings apologize to the ground when we stomped.
If I had done "it," I would have gotten SO many apologies.
My mom is telling me to get off Friday Night Funkin' or she will slam my head against the keyboard: weherhrqqkh[qokqho[krq3[t4i2-4q43q343q44334q43.
Listen, if my mom sees me on Roblox at 3 a.m., she said she would bang my head against the keyboardndfndfnnckvnksdvknkdsfnvbfw.
1273. My mother does not love me, nor does anyone, and my family doesn't either.
Mommy, mommy! Are we bank robbers?
Shut up and pass me the note.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite line in Rambo?
"Don't push me."
"Ahoy, Spongebob! I just committed homicide in Syria, and the one-party state is after my fucking ass! Argagagagagaga!"
Me: What do you want to do for your birthday?
Fiancé: I want to go somewhere I've never been before!
Me: Well welcome to the Kitchen!
Me talks to an orphan: Hey, I have a joke.
Orphan: Go on then.
Me: Your family tree.
The name is Doe, Dilbert Doe. You can call me Dil.
One time, a man got mad at me because I was hitting on his girlfriend. Like come on, man, it was only a couple of bruises!
My mom once told me to spread positivity across the world, so I did.
I spread Covid across the globe because I tested positive :D