ME jokes
Person A: Hey, what's the next subject?
Person B: Let me check.
Person B: It's greenglish!
El, can you grab me that bow?
Why was your mom so into me?
'Cause she was the man.
symple: Why did you include me in this fuckery?
symple: And why the fuck am I the profile picture?
angela: Because you are the thot of the group.
symple: Well it takes one to know one.
symple: Aren't Thot jokes just "whore'able?"
angela: FUCK OFF!
A lot of people get mad at me for my bad jokes. I always thought they were punderful.
Memes
My friend told me I should be a stand up comedian but... I prefer sitting.
Fuck me.
Jesus walks into a hotel, hands the inn keeper three nails and says, "Can ya put me up for the night?"
My girlfriend is so stupid, she asked me if I wanted to shower with her to save money on our water bill, while we were staying at a hotel where we didn't even have to pay the water bill.
Are you a builder? Because you are giving me an erection.
My science teacher was talking about natural selection.
At one point, she asked me to name the first person to theorize about it. I said, "Eric Harris." It was on his shirt.
If you don't get the joke, look up "Eric Harris natural selection."
I thought of you today, and it reminded me to take out the trash.
My guy: I have a Q-Tip.
Me: You can Q my tip.
My guy: Ayo!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Utah.
Utah who?
You're talking to me.
Putin: You came from the West and showered me with gifts.
Trump: And your prostitutes, they showered me with piss.
I got knob cheesed after your sexy mom was on top, dry humping me on the vanilla-coloured living room carpet.
Must be heartwrenching for a loyal husband to watch his wife dry shagging me on the living room carpet.
I mean, once she started, she couldn't get enough.
Your mom gave me a three course meal last night:
Starters - Foreplay
Main course - Reverse Cowgirl
Dessert - Blowy
Won't forget the side drink of an individual on individual bukkake.
Once you've had the mother,
Don't tell me you've never been tempted to do the daughter.
Your mom is the biggest tosser on the planet, yeah, you heard right.
I don't have to strain myself a blood vessel and be wankin' solo anymore; she saved me a whole load of arthritis.