ME jokes

"Pretend me please stop! I don't recall posting anything except commenting and posting something for Jordan C! Please stop!"

Akeld, just want you to know: Leave me and Gwen alone.

Real me.

Okay, Gwen, I'll be offline for a while... so if anyone by my name types anything, it's a fake. The only way you know it's me is if I say one of my nicknames. Okay, so yeah, take care of my account while I'm gone. BYE!!!!

"I want to know who this fake me is! I haven't even posted or commented on anything bad or said a curse. I am very kindly asking you to stop."

Jk: Jimin, why are you so small?

Jm: Excujjimi?

Jk: No offense, Jim.

Jm: Yah, call me hyung!

Jk: But I'm bigger.

Jm: I'm older!

Jk: I'm the top and you're the bottom, so I don't think it's right to call you hyung.

Jm:......

Stephen Hawking talks by clicks. Two clicks is "hi," and five is "dab me up."

What did the egg say to the other egg?

"You crack me up!" 😂

Yo mama so fat the last time I saw 90210 was when she stepped on the scale.

Lucky for me I'm only 210.

I have a friend who doesn't have a dad.

He says: "You're useless, go to hell!"

Me: "Wait, why do you want me to join your dad?"

Someone: Didn’t we already meet somewhere?

Me: Yeah. That’s why I don’t go there anymore.

Some kid: Hey, did you know there's an orphanage down the street?!

Me: NO WAY! Wanna check it out?

Kid: NO, IT'S HAUNTED!!

Me: Haunted my ass, let's go!

Kid: Wait, isn't your house also haunted???

Me: Yea

If I tell Stephen about these jokes, what is he gonna do? Chase after me? He better run fast!

Q: My dad woke up one morning about to go to work, but he was still really tired, so he decided the quickest way to wake him up was to slap him in the face.

So he asked me to do it, but I guess I don't know my own strength, and so he went back to sleep again...

My ex misses me, but her aim is getting better.

Guys, add me in Discord.

When I was a kid, my mother told me I could be anyone I wanted to be.

Turns out, I'm just a burden.

Looking at me is like being on your phone, in a car, on a long trip. You're fine for the first 10 minutes, then after that you feel sick.

My bad, I kick me bad in if balls, and he got so fucking mad.

Why do orphans come to me?

'Cause they have someone to call "father."

Nobody: The crickets in the back: Talk talk talk.

Me: JOE MAMA OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!