ME jokes
Someone: "I got chickens out there vibin'."
Me: "What? Oh, you mean those over-sized chickens that just show an example of you in real life?"
Someone: . . .
Hello everyone, I would just like to apologize for participating in the protest and everything else I said. I was wrong and have recently found a way to see all these jokes as funny. I hope that you all can forgive me. ALYA
Me: You have pretty eyes.
Her: Thank you.
Me: I can make them roll back 😈🥴
STORY OF 2 PEOPLE NOT ME:
Girlfriend: What would you do if I won the lottery?
Boyfriend: I would take half and leave you.
Girlfriend: Ok cool. I won 12 dollars here's 6 and don't come back.
Why did the blind man cross the road?
Don't ask me, he can't even see where he's going.
Why Bing is Superior tbh
Once the old lady told me she had wisdom, but after she voted! 🤯
Me: What do you call an orphan?
Friend: Homeless.
One day my mom told me not to be an actor. I said, "But mommy, I will make a lot of money!"
My friend said not to look down on me. I said I can't because I'm shorter than her.
Want to do a titcock dance with me?
Me imagining how Batman's hairline looks like.
Nobody: Me: His hairline kinda do look like a Batman symbol.
What were the balloon's last words to his Father?
"Watch me, Pop!"
My friend died. Me and my other bestie start singing the coffin song. My bestie in the coffin, why are you not sad? Why are you still alive?
What's the difference between me and an orphan?
At least my dad came back.
Mum: Why are you throwing a paper plane at the twins?
Me: 😈
Call me fat? You call me fat because you think that you’re pretty, but you ain’t. You’re just a musty, dusty, rusty Cardi B.
I'm so poor that they let me buy the entire store! For $0...
Today there was a line to punch me.
Yeah, that was the punch line.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Me.
Me who?
Not me.
I gave an emo kid money.
He gave me the great depression.