ME jokes
Mom: There is so much of the dog's dirty ball marks.
Me: *umm ohh no* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA dirty balls!
"Talking about childhood habits, my friend told me he still collects coins and post stamps and all. He asked me, I said - breastfeeding."
A man wakes up and asks his wife, “Are you okay? You were cursing me all night in your sleep.” The wife replies, “Who says I was sleeping?”
Hi, my name is Meer Adnan Hussain. I am a Muslim. I live in Karachi, an area of Pakistan. I want this job. I am interested in this work. Please take me in this work. Your porn star, Meer Adnan Hussain. Wait for your email. Okay.
My father told me to always carry a women's bag, but I don't know why he called the cops on me when I helped Mom's bag when we went parachuting. :(
Me when kids
What did the ass say to the joke?
"You crack me up!"
My wife asked me to please quit singing "Wonderwall" in the shower.
I said, "Maybe."
When your girlfriend picks you up and decides to prank you by not wearing pants to a seafood restaurant:
Did you get seafood without me? It smells like fish.
What does Michael Joseph Jackson say to adults when he sees them?
Keep away from me-hee-hee.
My therapist told me to write letters to the people you hate and then burn them.
I did that, but now I don't know what to do with the letters.
I finally asked my deadbeat dad what makes him happy. His answer? He hasn't gotten back to me.
Freddy: I'm coming for you >:)
Me: God, no, help!
*game notification pops up with very loud sound*
Is it just me, or do these gays need to leave me alone?
What's the difference between me and a knife?
One has a point, and the other doesn't.
I tried to fight a razor. It cut me so deep I thought I would die.
Turns out he didn't kill me. I was never happy, but that shit made me angry.
You know why you remind me of a calculator? Because 1+1 equals the two of us.
What is an orphan's favorite Roblox game?
"Adopt Me."
Person: You can't kill an orphan!
Me: What are they going to do, go tell their parents?
Person: "How many people have you had intercourse with?"
Me: "Nun."
Bully: Shut up, motherfucker!
Me: Well, stop talking to me and I won't have to keep fucking your mother.