ME jokes

War

    • Why did Germany win World War Two? Wait—that's not right... um... excuse me while I look up who won the war...

    *disconnected*

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    • Down Syndrome

    • I met a kid with Down syndrome the other day. He told me he was into rock music. He told me his favorite song was "Down With The Syndrome." Kinda drooled while attempting to sing it.

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    • ME memes

    Child

    • In life, it’s either yeet or get beat, and I clearly failed yeeting as a child, as my dad beat me.

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    • Lady

    • What did the lady say to Michael Jackson at the beach?

    "Excuse me, you're in my sun (son)."

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    • Friend

    • A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realized that toucan play at that game.

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    • Knock

    • Me: Knock knock.

    Some dude on the street: Who's there?

    Me: Whowhowho.

    Dude: Whowhowho who?

    Whowhowhowhowhowhowhowhowhowhowhowhowho.

    ACE

    • So an ace gets handed a piece of paper and it says, "Do you like me or no?" and the ace says, "I'm not registered to vote!" Hahahahahahahahjajqh.

    Teacher

    • Little Johnny was sitting in class, and he was behind a girl called Sally. The teacher asks the class, “Who created the Earth?” And Little Johnny pokes Sally in the back with his sharpened pencil, and she jumps and says, “MY GOD!” And the teacher says, “Yes, Sally, God did create the Earth.” Sally sits down.

    Then, the teacher asks, “Where do you go after you live a good life?” and Little Johnny pokes Sally again, and she jumps up and says, “HEAVENS TO BETSY!” And the teacher says, “Yes Sally. You will go to heaven after you live a good life.” Sally sits down, knowing full well Little Johnny was poking her. Sally gave Little Johnny an angry glare, and she turns around.

    And then, the teacher asks the class, “What did Eve say to Adam after their 77th child?” and Little Johnny pokes Sally HARDER this time in the back, and Sally jumps, turns around, and says, “If you stick that thing in me one more time, I swear I’m gonna lose it!” And the teacher faints.

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    • Beer

    • What did the beer can say to the other? "Open me, please!"

    What did the coconut say to the other? "Crack!"

    Why did the jalapeño cross the road? I got spicy!

    Why did the hubcap cross the road? Crack!

    Why jazz, Jr. Get to the other side of the creek? Don’t break a leg!

    What did the tornado cross the road? Let’s spin again!

    Why did the turkey get to the other side of the creek? Don’t break a leg!

    What did the bunny get to the side of the road? Get furry!

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    • Burglar

    • A burglar breaks into a weapons engineer's house, hoping to loot the high-tech arsenal. Suddenly, the engineer yells from upstairs, "Hey! Stop right there!"

    The burglar, trying to play tough, screams, "Hands up! I know you've got the goods! Open the armory or I'll shoot!"

    The engineer, trembling, cries, "Okay, okay! Don't shoot! I'll give you everything, even my latest prototype!"

    The burglar, eyes gleaming with greed, demands, "Prove it! Let me see this fancy new gun first!"

    The engineer points to a target range. "It's a plasma blaster," he claims. "Go ahead, give it a shot."

    The burglar aims at the bullseye, pulls the trigger, and—BANG!—the gun fires directly into his own chest.

    As the thief collapses, the engineer cackles, "Surprise! It's not plasma; it's my new 'Reverse-Recoil Special,' specifically designed for uninvited guests!"

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    • Orphan

    • One day I was saw a kid sitting on the curb dressed in rags. I asked if he was an orphan. He said, “Yeah, what gave me away?” I said, “His parents.”

    Blonde joke

    • A blind man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bartender replies with, "I'm blonde, the man working next to me is blonde, the woman next to you is blonde, and the fat guy behind you is blonde." Then says, "Do you really wanna tell the blonde joke?" The blind guy responds with, "No, I don't wanna tell it that many times."

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