ME jokes

Child

    • A Down syndrome child is drowning, he calls for help with all of his voice: "Somebody help me!! I'm Downing!"

    BA DUM TSS

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    • Name

    • Ashley said to me one day, "What is my name?"

    And I said, "My name is everyday life of stupidity."

    Comedian

    • *walks into a comedy night club* Owner: "You're doing standup tonight, right?" Noob Joker (you): "Yes, I am!" Owner: "Get onto the stage." Me: *walks up stage* Owner: "This is the standup comedian noobpro." Me: "Hey guys, how about some Donald Trump?" Crowd: *RUNS*

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    • Butler

    • I wanted to hire a butler for my new mansion in downtown LA. As he arrived, he introduced himself and I discovered it was Ghostionel Pessi.

    I asked him why is he working as a butler? He told me that “a big game is coming up so he needs to refine his bottleling skills.” DAMN PESSI!

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    • ME memes

    Friend

    • A friend sits across from me at class so I asked if she wants to hang out sometimes. She said yes, so I called her over to my house, and that's the day I found out she was a guy.

    The moral of the story: don't try to fuck your friends.

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    • Hell

    • This is just a bad emo pickup line, lmao.

    Are you Maria? 'Cause you can sure as hell count ME in!

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    • Lockdown

    • Me in 2078 when the COVID-19 delta alpha theta beta cya layta alligayta nlgga chungus sussy deef clussy sussy bussy cunnybrap variant comes out and I need to stay in lockdown for another 2 years with my new mandated virus stopper buttplug 9000.

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    • Death

    • You have five seconds to kill me. 1... 2... 3... 4... Thank you. I can rest now. WAIT, HOW AM I TALKING?????????????????????