ME jokes
Orphan: I’m gonna tell my parents!
Me: Where are they?
Orphan: ̄\_(ツ)_/ ̄
This is just a bad emo pickup line, lmao.
Are you Maria? 'Cause you can sure as hell count ME in!
What did Africa say to the grass? Get off me!
Hey, my sister said you're Mattick, so I decided to swim with her and she threw a ball at me, so I went to my dad and she said, "Why did you tell dad?" She was crying because I’m not getting a car seat.
Me: "Gift a homeless kid iPhone 7."
The kid: But it has no home button.
Me: Exactly. 💀
Ah yes Google vs Bing
Me in 2078 when the COVID-19 delta alpha theta beta cya layta alligayta nlgga chungus sussy deef clussy sussy bussy cunnybrap variant comes out and I need to stay in lockdown for another 2 years with my new mandated virus stopper buttplug 9000.
A friend sits across from me at class so I asked if she wants to hang out sometimes. She said yes, so I called her over to my house, and that's the day I found out she was a guy.
The moral of the story: don't try to fuck your friends.
The shark bit me and I feet red down my legs.
I am looking for a Robert "Jamie" Weber. He is a friend of mine from 3rd grade that welcomed me as the new kid. I am currently in 6th grade going into 7th grade (summer brake).
Once I said to an orphan, "What the 'F' means in 'orphan'?"
He replied, "There's no 'F'."
Me: "There's no family."
Why can't orphans say "mommy: me?" Because the fosters said no.
What did the fat guy say to the skinny guy?
Fat guy: Does this look fat on me?
Skinny guy: No, I don’t think it’s that.
Fat guy: Thinking.
My grandfather told me I'm too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
This video got me on the ground. 😂
Https://youtu.be/7AdpKigXyyA
My friend: Wanna hear a joke?
Me: No.
Friend: Why?
Me: Because you are a joke.
Friend: Your life is too...
Me: :)
Friends :)
Why you gay, bruh? I know why I'm gay. I got the wolf pack protectors spirit in me, YA BOIIIII!
Me and my wife love playing table tennis. I couldn’t win all day, but when it got dark, I managed to beat her. I don’t know how the police found out so quickly.
The time I saw you and you asked me to be your friend.
Me: "Yeah... no. You're too ugly. Even your parents never loved you."
Kid: 😭
Me: What did my sister do when she dressed up as Elsa and I gave her a balloon?
You: What?
Me: She let it go, let it go!
My friend said she was tired of seeing me every day.
So I pushed her off the side of a cliff.