ME jokes
What is a joke that will never end even though you want it to?
For me, life.
My wife (or husband) told me to get six cans of Sprite from the grocery store.
I had just realized when I got home that I had picked up 7-Up.
I wonder if any of these people are still alive.
Anyways,
When I arrived at the pearly gates when I died, the guardian asked me how I died. I told him I was just hanging around.
When people tell me to "go to hell," I tell them their address.
My friend just told me about reverse exorcisms.
In these, the demon tells the priest to get out of the child.
Memes
Sometimes I look back at everything bad I have done. I tell myself it's ok, they're just telling me to keep myself safe :)
That's it, it wasn't a joke.
My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair. She came crawling back!
I once was playing with my friend and Roblox girlfriend, then one day, they cheated on me. I broke up with her and unfriended him, then I saw my mom and my uncle crying!
Me be like: ;-;
Me and my friend are walking, we see a kid. My friend asks him why he's crying and if he lost his parents. He said, "Yeah." I slapped my friend because we were at an orphanage.
Me: Yo mama so fat her alphabet starts with O.
My friend: What's that supposed to mean?
Me: O B C D.
If I die, does my depression die with me?
I made a website for orphans.
Silly me, I forgot the home page.
Me calling the orphan kid from school: "Hello, are your parents home?"
The orphan kid: *starts sobbing* "STOP CALLING HERE!"
You're the sun in my life, now get 93 million miles away from me.
You: Bro, this school picture is soooo ugly!! (Points to yours).
Me: Bruh, you just typed up mirror!
Me and my friends jumped some orphans. Who will they tell? Their parents?
What is depressing, alone, chronic, and messed up? Me.
They tried to make me laugh, but I was already DYING.
What did the hamster say to the penis? "Ha, you look just like me!"
I visited my new friend in his apartment. He told me to make myself at home.
So I threw him out. I hate having visitors.