ME jokes
Your sister: You're so ugly.
Me: But we look the same, so who's also ugly?
A police officer came up to me and said, "Just why, why would you bring the epileptic children to a laser tag fight?"
Riddle me this, Batman, what's long, round, and has cum in the middle?
Batman: A dick.
Riddler: NO NO NOOO! It's a cucumber!
What did John Cena say to the blind kid? "You can't see me."
Do you want to know what gifts God gave me?
He didn't give me any.
I was made by the Devil.
Meme:
Here’s another joke my friend told me.
What did the school shooter do when the librarian told him to be quiet? Pulled out a silencer.
She said you can twerk, so I put her in a tractor and put her to work. She got mad at me and said, "There's no good men," but I gave her a kob and equal pay!
What did the headless horseman say to the woman?
"Give me head."
Kid: Wanna hear a joke?
Me: Sure.
Kid: Why diddncjcjcbfjcbcjdbbskzmzj b b j no?
Me:?
"When your mom is pregnant and your best friend learns dad jokes."
Me:.....
Two boys were at a lake, and they went to a bush and saw a naked lady.
One ran away, the other one followed the one who ran and asked why he ran. The boy answered, "My mum told me if I saw a naked lady I would turn to stone. I ran away because I felt something get hard."
Mom asks, "Why are you are THIS show??? It's DISTRACTING you from SCHOOL!!!!!"
The child says, "Don't you mean SCHOOL is distracting ME from this AWESOME show?"
Mom whispers, "Oh, you DEAD."
This Native American won't stop talking bad about me, so I said, "Please stop acting like you first discovered this land belonged to your ancestors!"
I'm sorry, orphans, that you're getting bullied. Oh, I have to go, my MOM's calling me. We're going on a road trip to go to a FAMILY reunion!
My wife told me I could never, ever build a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta!
My wife told me to treat her like a princess, so I got drunk and drove through the tunnel.
"Are you a bullet? Because I can't get you out of my head."
- JFK
Me: Hey, are you an orphan?
Orphan: Yeah, what gave me away?
Me: Your parents.
You are able to travel to the anime world, believe me, Michael Jackson did it.
People ask me if my friend jumps off a bridge, will I go as well? Of course not. I am a leader; I will go first, my friend will jump after me!