ME jokes

3 men go to hell. Satan says if you can question me and I can't answer, you go to heaven.

The first man asks if Satan knew how to make computers. He goes to hell. The next man asks if he knew how to make furniture. He goes too. The third man pokes a ton of holes in a bottle cap and farts in the bottle, asks Satan where the fart came from. Satan said every possible answer and the man pointed to his butthole and said "nope this one"😂

Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help check her balance. So I pushed her over.

My husband wants to tell me about my childhood.

Ok, I can't access the panel without the password.

"I think Hannibal Lecter is soooo sexy... I'd like him to eat me!"

I saw some kid following me, so I told him to go back to his family.

Orphan: "What family?"

By the way, could you tell me an elevator pun? I can't seem to "come up" with one myself.

I went home one day. My mom said, "Look what a few guys got me." It was a MILF trophy.

My mom asked what does that mean. So I said, "Mom's I'd Like To Fuck." Then my mom said, "These guys want to fuck me?" I said, "Yeah." Then my mom said, "I still got it!"

Spell "I cup..." "I see you pee!"

Almost all of you suck. If you're following me, hah, this isn't a joke, but it gave my profile a 1 thingy heheh. KYS, Wade =D

Someone was throwing Stephen King books at everyone. I had no idea why though...

Then IT hit me.

What did the boy say to the noose?

"Can you please tie me."

Hey guys! Just a reminder that the guy below me is a crying bitch! Have a good day!

Call me Willma, Will ma balls fit in ya mouth?

Add me on Discord! @ moon💕#9999

I walk into a bar. There was a line of people waiting to punch me. Yup. That was the punch line.

"Are you taco to me? I nacho friend."

Me: I’m gonna smite the life out of you!!!

Orphan: What! No! Please no!

Me: What you gonna do? Run home and tell your parents? Wait, I forgot, you don’t have a home or parents!!!!

Hey, pass me that crowbar, please.

Sure... y’know, before the crowbar was invented, crows had to drink at home.

Hey Gwen, uhhhhhhh, fresfry told me to tell you I like you. Jk, I don't.

So I saw a 15 year old kid near a 15 year old girl checking her out.

Then I told him, "What are you doing?"

He told me he will decorate her locker, donate a lot of money to her, and buy her a lot of stuff.

He then told me how easy would that be?

I told him: "That sounds pretty SIMPle."