Mathematics jokes
What do you call a rude math teacher with a lisp?
A mathive dick.
How many times does 50 fit into 9?
Get in a van and find out!
Bill Gates teaches a kindergarten class to count to ten. "1, 2, 3, 3.1, 95, 98, ME, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 10."
Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 ate 9.
Wait till the end.
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7, 8, 9.
But why was 10 scared? Because it was in the middle of 9/11!
I am right 95 percent of the time, who cares about that other 5 percent?
Teacher: What's 3 minus 1? Me: I don't know. Teacher: How about this, you have three cakes, I take one. How many cakes do you have? Me: Three. Teacher: If I take one cake from your three, what do you have? Me: Three cakes and a dead teacher.
What do you call numbers that don’t stay in place?
Roamin’ Numerals.
Why is 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 ate 9.
Why did all the numbers laugh at 22? Because it had "tu tu's."
Why were 7, 8, and 10 scared?
Answer: 9/11, of course!
I walked into the party and the host asked me if I would like a slice of pie.
I responded "yes," and he said: "okay, 14159."
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
'Cause 7 was a 6 offender.
What do prime numbers and stoners have in common? The higher they are, the more spaced out they get.
What did the 0 say to the 8?
"Nice belt."
2+2=7
Q: What's 1+1? 2+2? 4+4? 8+8? Name a vegetable.
A: Carrot 🥕
What did the math teacher write on his party invitations?
Be there or B2.
Timmy has 5 apples.
His train is 7 minutes early.
Calculate the mass of the sun.
What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed to death?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.