Mathematics jokes
I tried to calculate 3/(my life), and I kept getting zero.
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
'Cause 7 8 9.
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 ate nine.
What's 9 divided by 11?
Well, I know it's less than two alright!
2+2=7
How many times can 46 go into 8? Just hop in the van and find out.
What do squats eat? Numbers.
What did 0 say to 8?
"Hey, nice belt!"
How did number 1 kindly make number 2?
I got my ass kicked, let's be friends?
Seems very long. You won't remember the telephone number...
I remember it like this from school days in Ireland.
Dolly Parton is shopping for a new bra. A lady says, "Your size is 69." Dolly says, "No way, that's too too too (222) big." So she goes to the doctor. "Doc, I need something to make my boobs smaller." "Here, take (51) pills for 6 days (x6)," and so she did. Days later, she ran back to the doc, "Jesus Christ doctor, look what happened. I'm BOOBLESS!" 55378008 upside down.
Flip 1134 over on a calculator.
Happy holidays!
What's 72?
69 with 3 people watching.
Why don't people play hide-and-seek in the number 4?
Because it would take forever. Get it? "For-ever" and "4" four, so "four ever."
There was a woman named Sally. She loved to have sex with other people. One time, she had sex with me. I noticed her bra size was 69 (+69). That is fucking big!
Ok, then when her partner was pissing, he told her she should call the doctor. So she dialed 2063512000 (+2000) and called the doctor. The office was on 51st street ave NE (+51). Holy shit, the doctor said! The boots were so big that she had to take 8 pills (x 8). The next morning, she was ________.
69 + 51 + 2000 x 8 = 16120
58008 (flip calculator)
Boobless.
Why don't rappers struggle with geometry?
Because they have all the angles covered.
"How do you make 7 even?"
"Take away the s."
6 was afraid of 7 because 7 ate 9, but why was 10 scared?
Because 10 was in 9/11.
A mathematics professor arrived home at 3 am drunk.
His wife was up waiting for him.
"You said you'd be home by 11:45!" she yelled.
He responded, "No my dear, I said I'd be home at a quarter of 12."
Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered, "Y?"
Turn the number 543354 upside down to see "sheesh."