Mathematics jokes
Why is 9 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 9.
Depressed should be spelled "depraseed" because then they would be 1, 2, 5, 9.
Damn bro, that calculator is looking hot today. It got abs!
What's one plus one?
Yo mama.
What's tree + tree?
Sticks! (Three + three = six)
I tried to calculate 3/(my life), and I kept getting zero.
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
'Cause 7 8 9.
What's 9 divided by 11?
Well, I know it's less than two alright!
How did number 1 kindly make number 2?
I got my ass kicked, let's be friends?
Seems very long. You won't remember the telephone number...
I remember it like this from school days in Ireland.
Dolly Parton is shopping for a new bra. A lady says, "Your size is 69." Dolly says, "No way, that's too too too (222) big." So she goes to the doctor. "Doc, I need something to make my boobs smaller." "Here, take (51) pills for 6 days (x6)," and so she did. Days later, she ran back to the doc, "Jesus Christ doctor, look what happened. I'm BOOBLESS!" 55378008 upside down.
What's 72?
69 with 3 people watching.
What did one negative say to the other negative? Together we can make a positive.
Why don't people play hide-and-seek in the number 4?
Because it would take forever. Get it? "For-ever" and "4" four, so "four ever."
Flip 1134 over on a calculator.
Happy holidays!
There was a woman named Sally. She loved to have sex with other people. One time, she had sex with me. I noticed her bra size was 69 (+69). That is fucking big!
Ok, then when her partner was pissing, he told her she should call the doctor. So she dialed 2063512000 (+2000) and called the doctor. The office was on 51st street ave NE (+51). Holy shit, the doctor said! The boots were so big that she had to take 8 pills (x 8). The next morning, she was ________.
69 + 51 + 2000 x 8 = 16120
58008 (flip calculator)
Boobless.
Why don't rappers struggle with geometry?
Because they have all the angles covered.
A mathematics professor arrived home at 3 am drunk.
His wife was up waiting for him.
"You said you'd be home by 11:45!" she yelled.
He responded, "No my dear, I said I'd be home at a quarter of 12."
Why is 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 ate 9.
What do a circle and a sphere have in common?
They're round, and round is a shape.
Why was number 10 scared?
It was surrounded by 9/11.