Man jokes
I used to be a man in a woman’s body. And then I was born.
What do you call a Russian man with three balls?
'Whodya nikabollokov'
Why do orphans like Spider-Man?
100% of them are like him!
A man with 20 dollars walked into Dave & Buster's. He went to the bathroom to wash his hands. He walked out without any clothes but still has his money.
My country is so corrupt that it voted me as the most sexiest man.
Victory assured, I will continue like that till I'm six feet under.
Your dad's Spider-Man because he's far from home.
Why do musicians in New Orleans smell so good? Because they're jasmine (jazz men)!
What is a victimless crime in the state of Michigan if you are an able-bodied man who is well-endowed, not white, and not a heterosexual male?
A white male who is heterosexual and physically disabled who is sodomized by an able-bodied and well-endowed gay male who is not white inside the men's locker room at the gym.
Why did the blind man cross the road?
Don't ask me, he can't even see where he's going.
The man says, "Can you hump me?" So the other boy says, "Bro bro bro bro bro."
Why did the stick fall?
Because he is a stick man.
Man, everybody's birthday is this year! 🤦🏽♂️
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?"
The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. "You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats."
"Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."
Two mums hook up!
Their daughter comes in the room and says, "Which one's the baby daddy?"
The "mum" points to the woman who was actually a man!
What do a gay man and an ambulance have in common?
They both take it in the back and go “whoot whoot.”
What's one thing your dad shares with black men? Your sister.
"Give me a cigarette," the condemned man said.
"I thought you quit," replied the guard.
"I did, but I don't think it matters anymore."
A man can form Jupiter girls came from Venus, and other genders came right from Uranus.
There was a man. He came home with his friends from the bar and man was he ever wasted! Their friends made sure to get him home safely. The next morning, he woke up and found blood all over his nightstand. He called his friends and asked for his alarm clock back.
Why do men find it so difficult to solve puzzles after taking Viagra?
Because they just keep getting harder and harder!