Man jokes

Why don't heterosexual men want to suck bananas because they taste like octopus and squid?

Shoutout to gil44200ns for commenting on my post!

Two gay men walk into a bar. One of them turned to the other and said, "Hey, what do you say we get out of here?"

What do you call a man with 6.022 x 10^23 dollars?

A Moleionaire.

Did you hear about the bossy man at the bar? He ordered everyone around.

How can a man make the world safer?

By having the chop.

Your hairline is like Spiderman: far from forehead.

What does a middle aged man live in?

A retarded kid he keeps in the van.

A man walks into a bar with a piece of asphalt under his arm. The bartender asks what he wants. The man says, "I would like one beer for me and one for the road."

I put glue in a man :)

A man walks into a bar and sees a piece of steak on the ceiling.

The cashier says, "If you can grab it, your meal's free!"

The man then said, "Nah, the stakes are too high."

A man gets arrested after writing "MORBID JOKES COMING OUT THIS TIME NEXT YEAR!" and "I'm gay!"

I'm lonely, but all I have is my cheeseburger, but what is the matter of living if you only have one thing?

But a cheeseburger is all you need 'cause it has 1,000,000,000,000 bucks man, so I can't just take it and spend it wherever I want.

An 80-year-old blind man asks his grandson, "Can you grab my glasses?"

Then the grandson says, "Did you get in the flour again?"

Grandpa said, "No, it was the weed."

My man is a pussy cunt that sucks my dick.

Joke's on him, he just asked me for bobs and vegana.

A redneck and a Black man walk into a bar and order a drink.

The Man: "Sonny, why do you come to get some milk every day?"

The Son: "Because milk is important."

The Man: "Why don't you ever come with your mom?"

The Boy: "Who?"

The Man: "Your mom?"

The Boy: "I don't have a mom."

The Man: "I'm sorry for your loss."

The boy stared for a moment when two men came out of the vehicle and picked up the boy.

The ice cream man tried to murder me today.

A man named Icide ruined my life. I asked a friend if he would help me sue him. He said yes. But for some reason, he killed me.

All I wanted was for someone to help me sue Icide...

A group of Astronauts, a Mechanic, a Pilot, & a Communications operator are on a very important mission to Mars when one of their solar panels gets grazed by a meteorite.

And so the Astronauts quickly assemble in the hull to wait for orders from the ground. Once the Communications operator turned on coms, their man on the ground told the Pilot to continue their course & to send the Mechanic out to fix the problem. As the Mechanic worked on finishing repairing the solar panel, the Pilot & Communications operator told each other dark jokes when out of nowhere a meteorite field appeared! The Ground operator frighteningly shouted "Get him back in the ship!" to the Communications operator. "Chill out, he'll be fine," The Pilot assured him. "Get him the hell out of there, that's an order!" The Ground operator argued. Then thirty seconds later the Communications operator came back from the air shoot & asked, "Now what?"