Hallelujah jokes

A preacher was selling a horse. A cowboy decided to buy the horse. The preacher told the cowboy to make the horse go, to say "Thank God" and to stop the horse, to say "Hallelujah". The cowboy then rode off into the sunset until he came upon a cliff, searching his memory he yelled "Hallelujah" and the horse stopped just before going off the cliff. Then the cowboy said "Thank God".

Inmate 1: Why are you in prison?

Inmate 2: I killed 4 people and robbed someone, what about you?

Inmate 1: I blew up a school bus.

Inmate 2: OMG, you demon! Were they autistic?

Inmate 1: No, they were Fortnite kids.

Inmate 2 (who is Muslim): Halelouia, we have found the messiah!

It's raining men! Hallelujah!

What is Osama bin Laden and his al-Qaeda organization's favorite song?

It's raining planes! Hallelujah!

Why does Helen Keller hate the national anthem? Oh, say, can you see?

Do you know how to make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.

How do you make holy water?

You take normal water and boil the hell out of it.

A German soldier is walking down the street during a hail storm when a lady suddenly falls over after being hit. He, along with a few others, walk over to her. One man asks, "What happened?" and the soldier replies, "Hail hit her."

My mom said I need Jesus in my life, so I drunk up the holy water ;}