Man jokes
Confucius say, "man who go to sleep with itchy bum, wake up with smelly finger."
What did the deaf man say to the blind man before he fell into the well?
Nothing.
Why did the blind man fall down the well?
He couldn't see that well.
What do you call a black man flying a plane?
A pilot, you racist bastard!
Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day.
Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
Why was the man fired from a calendar factory? He took a day off.
Confucius say, man who runs behind car will get exhausted, but man who runs in front of car will get tired.
Two fish are in a tank. One says, "You man the guns, I'll drive!"
A blind man walks into a bar, and a table, and a door, and a staircase.
What did the Tin Man say when he got run over by a steamroller? -- "Curses! Foil again!"
What do Japanese men do when they vote?
They have an erection.
Why couldn't a lifeguard save the hippie? -- Because he was too far out, man.
Did you hear about the man who was accidentally buried alive? -- It was a grave mistake.
Today, a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.
A man walks into a library and says to the librarian, "Do you have that book for men with small penises?"
The librarian looks on her computer and says, "I don't know if it's in yet."
"Yeah, that's the one!"
What do you call a man with 6.022 x 10^23 dollars?
A Moleionaire.
What is the most sensitive part of a man's anatomy while he's masturbating?
His ears.
New study reveals that women slightly overweight live longer... than the men who mention it.
Give a man a plane ticket and he'll fly for a day. Push a man from a plane and he'll fly for the rest of his life.
I went for a job interview today and the manager said, "We're looking for someone who is responsible."
"Well, I'm your man," I replied, "In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible."