Man jokes
A girl said, "Suck my dick," and the man went, "I have boobs."
There were these three men; their names were Shit, Shut up, and Manners. One day, they were riding in their car, and Shit fell out, so Manners went out to pick Shit up, and Shut up went to the police station.
When he got there, the police officer said, "What's your name, son?" and Shut up said, "Shut up." The officer replies with, "Ummm...excuse me?!" and Shut up said, "Shut up!" and the officer said, "Boy, where are your manners?" and Shut up said, "Round the corner picking up Shit!"
When a man sleeps with a lot of women, he's called a stud. When a woman sleeps with a lot of men, she's called your mum.
I once asked a sketchy man at a bar for some relationship advice. He simply replied, "They're all dead hookers once they're in the trunk."
Man's got that big bati, you know.
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
A drunk man walked out of a bar and kept falling flat on his face. He wondered why this was until his wife spoke to him:
Wife: "Why is your face all bloody?"
Husband: "I was so drunk that I couldn't stand up, so I kept falling on my face!"
Wife: "Idiot. You left your wheelchair at the bar!"
Confucius say, "man who go to sleep with itchy bum, wake up with smelly finger."
What did the deaf man say to the blind man before he fell into the well?
Nothing.
Why did the blind man fall down the well?
He couldn't see that well.
What do you call a black man flying a plane?
A pilot, you racist bastard!
Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day.
Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
Why was the man fired from a calendar factory? He took a day off.
Confucius say, man who runs behind car will get exhausted, but man who runs in front of car will get tired.
Two fish are in a tank. One says, "You man the guns, I'll drive!"
A blind man walks into a bar, and a table, and a door, and a staircase.
What did the Tin Man say when he got run over by a steamroller? -- "Curses! Foil again!"
What do Japanese men do when they vote?
They have an erection.
Why couldn't a lifeguard save the hippie? -- Because he was too far out, man.
Did you hear about the man who was accidentally buried alive? -- It was a grave mistake.