Yo momma so stupid... weather man says it's chilly outside... instead of a jacket, she gets a bowl and spoon!
What do you call a rich Chinese man? Ching Ching.
A man woke up from a serious surgery. He screamed, "Doctor! Doctor! I can't feel my legs!" And the doctor replied, "I know. I amputated your arms."
Good sex sounds like a white man walking across the street with flip-flops on.
A man and a giraffe walk into a bar. The man orders a beer, one for him and one for the giraffe.
After they finish their drinks, the giraffe falls over, and the man gets his stuff and heads for the door.
The bartender says, "Stop! You can't leave that thing lying on the floor!"
The man says, "Mate, that's not a lion, it's a giraffe."
A girl said, "Suck my dick," and the man went, "I have boobs."
When a man sleeps with a lot of women, he's called a stud. When a woman sleeps with a lot of men, she's called your mum.
I once asked a sketchy man at a bar for some relationship advice. He simply replied, "They're all dead hookers once they're in the trunk."
Mans got dat big bati u know
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
A drunk man walked out of a bar and kept falling flat on his face. He wondered why this was until his wife spoke to him:
Wife: "Why is your face all bloody?"
Husband: "I was so drunk that I couldn't stand up, so I kept falling on my face!"
Wife: "Idiot. You left your wheelchair at the bar!"
Confucius say, "man who go to sleep with itchy bum, wake up with smelly finger."
What did the deaf man say to the blind man before he fell into the well?
Nothing.
Why did the blind man fall down the well?
He couldn't see that well.
What do you call a black man flying a plane?
A pilot, you racist bastard!
Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day.
Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
Why was the man fired from a calendar factory? He took a day off.
Confucius say, man who runs behind car will get exhausted, but man who runs in front of car will get tired.
Two fish are in a tank. One says, "You man the guns, I'll drive!"
A blind man walks into a bar, and a table, and a door, and a staircase.
