Man jokes
Stephen Hawking was an unfaithful man. He had an affair with Alexa.
What did the little boy say to the fat man?
How many Japs did you get?
Man, my Muslim friend's the bomb!
Why did the man fall off his bike?
Because someone threw a refrigerator at him.
This gay guy was so happy with his new boyfriend that he took him to his favorite gay bar.
An hour or so goes by, then the new flame says, "I just LOVE this place, everyone is so nice, food is great, but what's up with the monkey way down there?"
His friend says "OK, watch this." He goes up behind the chimp and smacked him in back of its head. The monkey jumped off the stool, pulls down his zipper, and gives him head. When finished, the chimp took a napkin, cleaned himself, pulled up his zipper, then jumped back to his chair.
He walked back to his new gay friend and said, "What do you think of that?"
"MAN, I seen some amazing things, but never like that!" His squeeze said, "Wanna give it a try?"
"I sure do, JUST DON'T hit me as hard as you hit that monkey."
A man is at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. A few years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says: “What the hell was that all about?”
A man (Ameenya Sheed) texts another man (Bob) and said,
"Hi, I'm Ameenya Sheed."
Bob: "You're not in my shed because I don't have one, but I have a garage. I don't think you're in there."
I met a man named Jebidiah on Xbox Live.
I heard the man who invented Autocorrect died; may he rest in peace.
Robert doesn’t see people, the man just sees meals.
What did the man say to the woman? "Make me a sandwich."
What happened to the man who made too many bad jokes? He served out a cruel and unusual PUNishment.
A man with 20 dollars walked into Dave & Buster's. He went to the bathroom to wash his hands. He walked out without any clothes but still has his money.
What did John Cena say to the blind man? "YOU CAN'T SEE ME!"
A man tried to attack me with milk and cheese—how dairy!
Give a man a fish, feed him for a day.
Give a man a poison fish, feed him for a lifetime.
What do you call a man with no body and no nose?
Nobody nose.
A man walks into a bar and notices a steak hanging from the ceiling. When he asks the bartender about it, the bartender says, "If you can jump up and hit it, drinks are on the house for the night, but if you miss, everyone's drinks are on your tab for the next two hours. Do you want to try?" The man decided not to take the risk. He thought the steaks were too high.
A German soldier is walking down the street during a hail storm when a lady suddenly falls over after being hit. He, along with a few others, walk over to her. One man asks, "What happened?" and the soldier replies, "Hail hit her."
How did a man kill his car? He throttled it.