What do a coin and an Irish man have in common?
They're both fun to flip off.
A man goes to the library to find the best book about committing suicide. So when he asks the librarian, "What's the best book on committing suicide?" The librarian said, "Oh, fuck off...you won't bring it back anyway."
How does the man on the moon cut his hair?
Eclipses it!
Q: What do you call a man in a wheelchair?
A: Disabled.
What does a man with no arms or legs do on Halloween?
Nothing.
John took a bath with bubbles.
Bubbles was a man.
A man was having a dream. He dreamt about a mystical creature that was commonly known as the god of toast.
When the man woke up, he turned to tell his wife about the dream. When he delivers the "toast god" punchline, his wife shrugged as she faced the opposite direction to the man.
The man turned around also and started sobbing as he realised his marriage is in shambles.
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
What do you call a woman who thinks she can do anything a man can do? Wrong.
The ice cream man tried to murder me today.
Who's never the last man standing?
Stephen Hawking.
What do you call a black man on the moon?
An astronaut.
A very rich and famous comedian walked into a Russian bar and asked for a vodka, but the bar man (a big fan of his) answered to him: - "This vodka isn't good enough for you." - "If it is good enough for you it is good enough for me!"
A man comes home and finds his wife in bed with another guy. "What's going on here!?" he exclaims.
The wife replies, "See, I told you he was stupid."
Old man goes to the doctor.
The doctor says, "The test results are back, and I'm sad to say you have cancer and Alzheimer's."
The old man says, "Phew! At least it's not cancer!"
There was a man in a wheelchair, and he got knocked out in front of a bus. He had a wheelie good life!
why cant the blind man see, because he cant see
A man with no arms is tasked with a lot of jobs. Then he says to his boss, "I can't handle all of this!"
Why did the man walk into a bar?
Because he just broke up and he needs alcohol, you dummy!
What did the pornstar say to the unemployed homeless man?
Get a fucking job.
