Man jokes
If a man drove over a woman, whose fault was it?
The man, because he shouldn't be driving in the kitchen.
What’s white and sticky? A white man's penis after taking care of his neighbor's dog.
Shaenaya is single, 16, and looking for a 30 year old man that can pleasure her, huh?
A man was reported stealing a bar of soap from a corner store. The police concluded that he made a clean getaway.
Guy: Say "I'm a man" every time I stop.
Person:
Guy: You walk into a bar.
Person: I'm a man.
Guy: You meet a girl.
Person: I'm a man.
Guy: You and the girl go to a hotel.
Person: I'm a man.
Guy: You guys go on a bed.
Person: I'm a man.
Guy: She whispers into your ear...
Person: I'm a man!
Some moving men had just begun their day's work.
The first thing they brought into the house was a huge couch.
The owner came in and asked how everything was going. They replied, "Sofa so good."
A man walks into a bar with a piece of asphalt under his arm. The bartender asks what he wants. The man says, "I would like one beer for me and one for the road."
How did Peter Parker get caught as Spider-Man?
Well, he weaved a really tangled web, and Aunt May saw it.
A depressed man was caught on top of the Empire State Building with marijuana. Needless to say, he didn't want to come down.
How does Skeletor feel after He-Man beats him up?
Skelesore.
Two men walk into a bar, and they both hit their heads.
Why are most firefighters men? Because they like to find hot places and leave them wet.
What's the difference between an Al Qaeda Base and a Pakistani School?
"I don't know man, I just fly the drones."
Superman was flying one day when he saw Wonder Woman laying by the pool completely naked. He thought, "I can fuck her so fast she wouldn't even know what happened." So he then flew down to the pool and did fuck her.
Wonder Woman stood up and said, "What was that?" The Invisible Man said, "I don't know, but my asshole stinks!"
One dog said to the other dog, "Man, it is hard sleeping on the floor."
The other said, "Really? I like my bed."
A rich man paid for a trip to space, but he couldn't go because the rocket was damaged. He received a refund and an apology.
A man gets captured by cannibals.
Every day they poke him with spears and use his blood to wash down their food. Finally the guy calls the chief over and says, "You can kill me or you can eat me, but I'm tired of getting stuck for drinks."
The man was absolutely delighted to find that every lamp in his house was stolen.
Cao ni man sha bi lalla shabi.
A man asked another man if he was happy with his marriage. He replied, "Yes, I'm very happy. We go on date night every week." The other man asked, "When?" He goes on Wednesday and I go on Thursday.