Mama jokes

Yo mama so poor she walked into an elevator and thought it was a mobile home.

Q: What does your Mama and a slinky have in common?

A: They aren't much to look at, but you can't help cracking a smile when you see it tumbling down the stairs.

Yo mama so fat that she was born on the 3rd, 4th, and 5th of March.

Your mama is so fat that all restaurants say, "Maximum weight 240KG or your mum!"

Yo mama played the iceberg in Titanic.

Yo mama's so fat, she works in the movie theater as a screen.

Yo mama's so stupid that she studied for her eye test.

Yo mama is so skinny, she uses floss as toilet paper.

Yo mama so fat, when she goes to the movies, she sits next to everyone.

Yo mama's so old, when she was a girl, rainbows were black and white.

Yo mama so dumb, she thought a quarterback was a refund.

Yo mama so fat, even Bob the Builder said, "We can't fix that!"

Father and mother are making love in the bedroom. Mother is on top of father. Suddenly, the son enters the bedroom. Everyone is embarrassed, of course.

The next morning, the mother takes the little boy aside and says, "I'll tell you about what you saw yesterday. You know, Dad has a big belly, and that's why Mom sometimes sits on top of that belly to push it flat." The little boy says, "But Mama, that does not make any difference." "Oh no?" the mom asks. "No," says the little boy, "When you go to work, the neighbor comes, and she puts herself on her knees for Dad, and she blows his belly up again!"

Little Johnny was in kindergarten, and his teacher said, "Okay, everyone, tomorrow you must come to school and recite the first three letters of the alphabet." Johnny didn't know the alphabet, so he decided to ask his family. He walked into the kitchen to find his mom on the phone. He says, "Mama, what's the first letter of the alphabet?" His mom doesn't notice him standing there and says, "If you don't shut the fuck up right now-" So he goes to find his brother watching TV, and he says, "Tommy, what's the second letter of the alphabet?" His brother doesn't notice him and says, "I'm Batman." So he went to his grandma who was knitting and says, "Grandma, what's the third letter of the alphabet?" The grandma then realizes she left her biscuits in the oven for too long and says, "My biscuits are burning! My Biscuits are burning!" Satisfied with the answers given to him, he thinks it over and goes to school the next morning. When his teacher comes to Johnny, she says, "Johnny, what are the first three letters of the alphabet?" "If you don't shut the fuck up right now," Johnny says. "Who do you think you are, young man, to talk to someone like me that way?" the teacher asks. "I'm Batman," Johnny says. The teacher whups his ass, and little Johnny says, "My biscuits are burning! My Biscuits are burning!"

Later that day, he understands what happened and can't tell which was worse, that he accidentally cussed at his teacher or that his family was ignoring him.

Your mama's so fat, scientists found a new planet called Heranus.

Mama Mia's pizzeria and abortion clinic. Your loss is our sauce.