Make jokes

It's sad when you sit around waiting for mom to make dinner, and then you realize you are the mom.

Kids make a lot of plans for people who can't drive anywhere.

What Disney movie does the church make little girls watch?

Snow White and the Seven Deadly Sins.

Yo, stop making 9/11 jokes. My grandpa was a pilot.

Son to mother: "Mom, all the kids in the school are making fun of me because I am still a virgin."

Mother: "Well, start giving them bad grades, and they will stop."

Did you know Disney is making a movie for suicidal people?

They're calling it Finding Emo.

Why do people make orphan jokes... their parents will get mad... oh wait, never mind, please continue.

Why don’t scientists trust atoms?

Because they make up everything.

They're making a new Alien movie.

There are so many aliens you can't keep track.

The Titanic movie cost $200 million dollars to make, meanwhile the Titanic ship cost $400 million to construct.

Titanic was made by Paramount and 20th Century Fox. CHEAPSKATES!

Make him read a book.

I would make a joke about Silver the Hedgehog... but it's no use!

What do you call a group of letters that like to dance but make you want to poop?

A vowel movement.

It's really great that you can make fun of orphans, 'cause what are they going to do? Tell their parents?

How does Moses make his tea?

He Brews!!!

Life is a bitch, and people make it worse.

This thing that I'm in ("am") is a forsaken curse (beta).

What do you call a magician that makes beer? Brew-dini?

One dollar bill is with a five dollar bill. The five says, "I make more cents than you."

Yo mama so fat she makes the sun look like a dwarf star!

So, there is this button. There's a 50% chance you get a million dollars. There's a 50% chance that you turn into a turtle. Make them press the button, and if they give the money, you just push the orphan over, take their money, and run away because who are they going to tell? Their parents?