Make jokes
Why do orphans play GTA?
To make them feel wanted.
Why did they make bus stops? So the bus driver would know where to pick the orphan up.
How do you make a plumber cry?
You kill his family.
Three Indians get captured by an enemy leader, and the leader says, "Go in the woods and find 10 fruits of the same kind."
The first one comes back with apples. The enemy leader says, "Shove them up your butt and don't make a sound, or I will kill you." He gets to two and yells. The leader kills him. He goes up to heaven.
The second guy comes back and has grapes. He gets to 9 and laughs. The leader kills him. He goes to heaven.
The first guy asks the second guy why he laughed, saying he had it in the bag. The second guy said he saw the third guy carrying pineapples.
What planets do Astronauts like to pee on?
Uranus!
(Say this out loud and it will make more sense.)
So uh, I did this thing where I put soap on my brother's toothbrush, and then I put more on and colored it to make it look like toothpaste, and uh, he is constipated now. I AM EVIL :3
How do you stop all homophobic heterosexual white men from using all public men's restrooms at a rest area?
Make sure that all public men's restrooms at the rest area are always occupied with gay men that have long and thick big cocks, regardless of skin color.
It's sad when you sit around waiting for mom to make dinner, and then you realize you are the mom.
Kids make a lot of plans for people who can't drive anywhere.
A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, “Have you heard about the mad cow disease that’s going around?”
“Yeah,” the other cow says. “Makes me glad I’m a penguin.”
"Lettuce" stop making vegetable puns. We don't carrot all about them and they're not a-peas-ing.
Son to mother: "Mom, all the kids in the school are making fun of me because I am still a virgin."
Mother: "Well, start giving them bad grades, and they will stop."
Did you know Disney is making a movie for suicidal people?
They're calling it Finding Emo.
They're making a new Alien movie.
There are so many aliens you can't keep track.
I'm gonna make a documentary about meth-addicted prostitutes.
I think I'll call it "Whores on Ice."
Yo, stop making 9/11 jokes. My grandpa was a pilot.
What Disney movie does the church make little girls watch?
Snow White and the Seven Deadly Sins.
How do you make a baby survive a fall of over 300 metres?
I don't know. I've dropped dozens off the Empire State Building and none have lived.
The Titanic movie cost $200 million dollars to make, meanwhile the Titanic ship cost $400 million to construct.
Titanic was made by Paramount and 20th Century Fox. CHEAPSKATES!
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a bucket of water.
WHERE DO THEY REALLY GO BECAUSE WATER CAN NOT BE AT THE TOP OF A HILL!?. I honestly think that only people with a physics degree can make nursery rhythms.