Make Jokes

Everyone stop making 9/11 jokes they just don't fly

I need more webs and i need more supplys for more webs how do i make them? WITH SPIDERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I forgot you cant make depression jokes outside of twitter lmao my coworker was like “you ready for this year to be over?” I was like “im ready for this life to be over” he was like bro what

One late night, my wife caught me standing in front of the freezer.

She asked me, "What are you doing?"

I replied "I'm making a pink yeti."

She asked "What does that mean?"

I said "I left our kid in the freezer for a couple hours."

imma eat a hell of a lot of popcorn kernels before i die just to make the cremation a lil more interesting

I hate when people make 911 jokes, im just blown away.

How does Moses make his tea? He Brews!!!

So.. err actually know don’t worry. I was gonna make a joke about dead babies but I had to abort.

one dollor bill is with a five doller bill. the 5 says " i make more cents then you

Did you know Disney is making a movie for suicidal people? They're calling it Finding Emo.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, “Have you heard about the mad cow disease that’s going around?”

“Yeah,” the other cow says. “Makes me glad I’m a penguin.”

Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.

They're making a new Alien movie.

There are so many Aliens you cant keep track.

A man walks into a bar and sees a jar full of money and he asks the bartender what's up with that jar of money bartender says you gotta do 3 task he takes the shot of Jack and the customer says what are the tasks he says the 1st one is but the 1st 1 is I got about a 12' gator in the back that's got a bad tooth and you gotta pull it he says all right what's the 2nd 1 he said I got a big old girl upstairs that aint had no loving in a long time you gotta make her smile he takes another shot of Jack he said all right what's the 3rd 1 he said you see that horse outside you gotta make him laugh and cry Guy goes upstairs goes out back comes out to the front comes back in the other customer said give him the jar The guy says I took care of that lady's tooth and I made that alligator smile well how'd you make the horse laugh he said easy i told him I had a bigger deck then him bartender says how did you make him cry he said easy I showed him