Make jokes
If I ever ran for public office, I'd make Rajan a call center employee again.
Why do orphans play GTA?
To make them feel wanted.
How do you make a plumber cry?
You kill his family.
Three Indians get captured by an enemy leader, and the leader says, "Go in the woods and find 10 fruits of the same kind."
The first one comes back with apples. The enemy leader says, "Shove them up your butt and don't make a sound, or I will kill you." He gets to two and yells. The leader kills him. He goes up to heaven.
The second guy comes back and has grapes. He gets to 9 and laughs. The leader kills him. He goes to heaven.
The first guy asks the second guy why he laughed, saying he had it in the bag. The second guy said he saw the third guy carrying pineapples.
So uh, I did this thing where I put soap on my brother's toothbrush, and then I put more on and colored it to make it look like toothpaste, and uh, he is constipated now. I AM EVIL :3
What planets do Astronauts like to pee on?
Uranus!
(Say this out loud and it will make more sense.)
What Disney movie does the church make little girls watch?
Snow White and the Seven Deadly Sins.
How do you make a baby survive a fall of over 300 metres?
I don't know. I've dropped dozens off the Empire State Building and none have lived.
Yo, stop making 9/11 jokes. My grandpa was a pilot.
Son to mother: "Mom, all the kids in the school are making fun of me because I am still a virgin."
Mother: "Well, start giving them bad grades, and they will stop."
A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, “Have you heard about the mad cow disease that’s going around?”
“Yeah,” the other cow says. “Makes me glad I’m a penguin.”
They're making a new Alien movie.
There are so many aliens you can't keep track.
What do you call a group of letters that like to dance but make you want to poop?
A vowel movement.
One dollar bill is with a five dollar bill. The five says, "I make more cents than you."
People who make puns always get pun-ched by people.
What is David Bowie known for when making music? He gets his beats from his kids.
It's really great that you can make fun of orphans, 'cause what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
Life is a bitch, and people make it worse.
This thing that I'm in ("am") is a forsaken curse (beta).
What do you call a magician that makes beer? Brew-dini?
How does Moses make his tea?
He Brews!!!