Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
Because they make up everything.
Make Jokes
So.. err actually, don’t worry. I was gonna make a joke about dead babies, but I had to abort.
Yo mama so fat she makes the sun look like a dwarf star!
What's white and annoying at breakfast? An avalanche.
Why did little Suzy fall off the swing? She got hit by an axe.
Why did little Billy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.
Your face makes onions cry.
What's one advantage of being an orphan?
Nobody can make mama jokes about you. 🌚
I have a better version of this joke.
How to make a plumber cry: Simple, kill his family. That’ll definitely turn on the waterworks.
I made a joke about putting babies in the microwave and got told I was a disgusting person.
So from now on I’ll only make baby in the deep fryer jokes.
Guys, can we change pride month to another month, please? My birthday is in June, and I'm not gay, and my friends keep making fun of me. I think we should change it to March because my brother's birthday is in March, and that'd be funny.
POV: You make an emo Mr. Beast.
Everyone stop making 9/11 jokes; they just don't fly.
What has 4 limbs and can make a sidewalk red? Me falling from a 20 story building.
I hate when people make 9/11 jokes, I'm just blown away.
Yo mama's so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead to make up her mind.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a bucket of water.
WHERE DO THEY REALLY GO BECAUSE WATER CAN NOT BE AT THE TOP OF A HILL!?. I honestly think that only people with a physics degree can make nursery rhythms.
I was doing a magic show. I tried to make a bunny disappear, but it didn’t work.
I walked outside in shame. I looked up and realised the towers had disappeared!!!!
Ya make 10 paintings, you aren't an artist.
Ya make 20 meals, you aren't a chef.
But when I kill ONE PERSON, I'm a "horrible person" and a "menace to society."
Your forehead is so big, it makes Kanye's ego look small.
I forgot you can't make depression jokes outside of Twitter, lmao. My coworker was like, "You ready for this year to be over?"
I was like, "I'm ready for this life to be over." He was like, "Bro, what?"
Roses are red, violets are blue, gum makes me beautiful, but what happened to you?
