Make jokes

I love teaching students

how to make them harm themselves.

How do you make a plumber cry?

You kill his family.

So uh, I did this thing where I put soap on my brother's toothbrush, and then I put more on and colored it to make it look like toothpaste, and uh, he is constipated now. I AM EVIL :3

The Titanic movie cost $200 million dollars to make, meanwhile the Titanic ship cost $400 million to construct.

Titanic was made by Paramount and 20th Century Fox. CHEAPSKATES!

I'm gonna eat a hell of a lot of popcorn kernels before I die just to make the cremation a little more interesting.

Why do people make orphan jokes... their parents will get mad... oh wait, never mind, please continue.

Why don’t scientists trust atoms?

Because they make up everything.

So.. err actually, don’t worry. I was gonna make a joke about dead babies, but I had to abort.

Yo mama so fat she makes the sun look like a dwarf star!

What's white and annoying at breakfast? An avalanche.

Why did little Suzy fall off the swing? She got hit by an axe.

Why did little Billy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

Your face makes onions cry.

What's one advantage of being an orphan?

Nobody can make mama jokes about you. 🌚

I have a better version of this joke.

How to make a plumber cry: Simple, kill his family. That’ll definitely turn on the waterworks.

I made a joke about putting babies in the microwave and got told I was a disgusting person.

So from now on I’ll only make baby in the deep fryer jokes.

Guys, can we change pride month to another month, please? My birthday is in June, and I'm not gay, and my friends keep making fun of me. I think we should change it to March because my brother's birthday is in March, and that'd be funny.

POV: You make an emo Mr. Beast.

Everyone stop making 9/11 jokes; they just don't fly.

What has 4 limbs and can make a sidewalk red? Me falling from a 20 story building.

I hate when people make 9/11 jokes, I'm just blown away.

Yo mama's so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead to make up her mind.