Make jokes

So.. err actually, don’t worry. I was gonna make a joke about dead babies, but I had to abort.

So, there is this button. There's a 50% chance you get a million dollars. There's a 50% chance that you turn into a turtle. Make them press the button, and if they give the money, you just push the orphan over, take their money, and run away because who are they going to tell? Their parents?

Your face makes onions cry.

Yo mama so fat she makes the sun look like a dwarf star!

What's white and annoying at breakfast? An avalanche.

Why did little Suzy fall off the swing? She got hit by an axe.

Why did little Billy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

What's one advantage of being an orphan?

Nobody can make mama jokes about you. 🌚

This name makes me want to close season instead of open it.

I made a joke about putting babies in the microwave and got told I was a disgusting person.

So from now on I’ll only make baby in the deep fryer jokes.

Guys, can we change pride month to another month, please? My birthday is in June, and I'm not gay, and my friends keep making fun of me. I think we should change it to March because my brother's birthday is in March, and that'd be funny.

I have a better version of this joke.

How to make a plumber cry: Simple, kill his family. That’ll definitely turn on the waterworks.

If you drop something, make your short friend get it.

How does Moses make his tea?

He Brews!!!

I need more webs and I need more supplies for more webs, how do I make them? With spiders!

I know how unicorns make babies. The dad puts his horn in the girl's butt hole.

Keep smearing that make-up around your face, maybe you'll get somewhere with it.

If your sis makes you mad, so go to your friend's home to play.

If your sis is sad, go tell Mom.

People who make puns always get pun-ched by people.

What is David Bowie known for when making music? He gets his beats from his kids.

What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?

A piece of ass that makes your eyes water.

Kids, next time you have school dinners, make sure you have something you actually like so you don't have to shove all your food over to one side of the plate to make it look like you've eaten more than you actually have.