Make jokes

It's sad when you sit around waiting for mom to make dinner, and then you realize you are the mom.

Kids make a lot of plans for people who can't drive anywhere.

Make him read a book.

What's white and annoying at breakfast? An avalanche.

Why did little Suzy fall off the swing? She got hit by an axe.

Why did little Billy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

So, there is this button. There's a 50% chance you get a million dollars. There's a 50% chance that you turn into a turtle. Make them press the button, and if they give the money, you just push the orphan over, take their money, and run away because who are they going to tell? Their parents?

So.. err actually, don’t worry. I was gonna make a joke about dead babies, but I had to abort.

I'm gonna eat a hell of a lot of popcorn kernels before I die just to make the cremation a little more interesting.

Why do people make orphan jokes... their parents will get mad... oh wait, never mind, please continue.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a bucket of water.

WHERE DO THEY REALLY GO BECAUSE WATER CAN NOT BE AT THE TOP OF A HILL!?. I honestly think that only people with a physics degree can make nursery rhythms.

I would make a joke about Silver the Hedgehog... but it's no use!

Why don’t scientists trust atoms?

Because they make up everything.

Everyone stop making 9/11 jokes; they just don't fly.

Yo mama's so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead to make up her mind.

The Titanic movie cost $200 million dollars to make, meanwhile the Titanic ship cost $400 million to construct.

Titanic was made by Paramount and 20th Century Fox. CHEAPSKATES!

I forgot you can't make depression jokes outside of Twitter, lmao. My coworker was like, "You ready for this year to be over?"

I was like, "I'm ready for this life to be over." He was like, "Bro, what?"

POV: You make an emo Mr. Beast.

What has 4 limbs and can make a sidewalk red? Me falling from a 20 story building.

How dare you people make 9/11 jokes? It's just "plane" rude!

Ya make 10 paintings, you aren't an artist.

Ya make 20 meals, you aren't a chef.

But when I kill ONE PERSON, I'm a "horrible person" and a "menace to society."

I hate when people make 9/11 jokes, I'm just blown away.