Make jokes

What has 4 limbs and can make a sidewalk red? Me falling from a 20 story building.

Everyone stop making 9/11 jokes; they just don't fly.

Roses are red, violets are blue, gum makes me beautiful, but what happened to you?

One late night, my wife caught me standing in front of the freezer.

She asked me, "What are you doing?"

I replied, "I'm making a pink yeti."

She asked, "What does that mean?"

I said, "I left our kid in the freezer for a couple hours."

I hate when people make 9/11 jokes, I'm just blown away.

Your forehead is so big, it makes Kanye's ego look small.

So.. err actually, don’t worry. I was gonna make a joke about dead babies, but I had to abort.

So, there is this button. There's a 50% chance you get a million dollars. There's a 50% chance that you turn into a turtle. Make them press the button, and if they give the money, you just push the orphan over, take their money, and run away because who are they going to tell? Their parents?

Your face makes onions cry.

Yo mama so fat she makes the sun look like a dwarf star!

What's white and annoying at breakfast? An avalanche.

Why did little Suzy fall off the swing? She got hit by an axe.

Why did little Billy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

What's one advantage of being an orphan?

Nobody can make mama jokes about you. 🌚

This name makes me want to close season instead of open it.

I made a joke about putting babies in the microwave and got told I was a disgusting person.

So from now on I’ll only make baby in the deep fryer jokes.

Guys, can we change pride month to another month, please? My birthday is in June, and I'm not gay, and my friends keep making fun of me. I think we should change it to March because my brother's birthday is in March, and that'd be funny.

I have a better version of this joke.

How to make a plumber cry: Simple, kill his family. That’ll definitely turn on the waterworks.

If you drop something, make your short friend get it.

How does Moses make his tea?

He Brews!!!

I need more webs and I need more supplies for more webs, how do I make them? With spiders!

I know how unicorns make babies. The dad puts his horn in the girl's butt hole.