Make jokes
What will make a depressed teenager happy?
A cliff.
How do you make a juggler laugh? You tickle his balls.
Can you make me a bowl of cereal? Oh wait, your dad never came back with the milk.
Make this post have 1000 comments.
What do sex and food have in common?
My sister makes it better than my cousin.
Did you know that they are making a movie about the four boys who lost their lives on the ice? They're calling the movie "The Lost Boys."
Sometimes when I think I'm ugly, I just think of my sister and it makes me feel better.
9/11 is not funny. It's just plane disrespectful to make fun of it.
Why did the rapper go to the bank?
To make some DEPOSITS of RHYMES.
Q: Why are the 49ers called the 49ers?
A: 'Cause they can't make it past the 50-yard line.
What makes you guys high?
I get high when I have a dead fish in my lunchbox.
Did you make your bed this morning? Wanna unmake it together?
OK, so Kenya and Kariah are both orphans that hate orphan jokes, so how about we make a joke out of them!
I was going to make a depressing joke, but my parents already did.
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He’s not breathing and his eyes are glazed.
The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911.
“I think my friend is dead!” he yells. “What can I do?”
The operator says, “Calm down. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”
There’s a silence, then a shot. Back on the phone, the guy says, “OK, now what?”
A guy on a bus saw a beautiful girl. He asked for her number, and of course, she said no. He asked the bus driver for advice, and he said, "That girl goes to the cemetery to pray every day at 10 p.m. and look for a statue of an angel." So he dresses up as God, goes to the grave, and she sees him. She says, "Oh, Lord, end my misery! Kill me now!" And he said, "Only if you do something for me first." She replied, "What is it, oh mighty Lord?" He said, "Have sex with me." She agreed. They had sex, and when she was done sucking his dick, he said, "I have something to tell you." He took off his costume and said, "I'm the guy from the bus." And she took off her costume: "I'm the bus driver."
(Does anyone remember this? It's an old joke someone made, or does no one remember this? I didn't make this, but it went smth like this)
It is interesting how different nations have their dogs make different sounds.
An American dog goes Woof, a Czech dog goes Haf, a Dutch dog goes Blaf, and a Chinese dog goes Sizzle.
What's white and annoying at breakfast? An avalanche.
Why did little Suzy fall off the swing? She got hit by an axe.
Why did little Billy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.
What is the difference between a nun and a hooker?
One makes you believe in Heaven, the other makes you feel it.
I've just started a new business making people breathe in large amounts of helium. They all speak very highly of it.