Creation jokes

Want to hear my pencil joke? Wait, I'm still writing it.

Roses are red,

Violets are blue.

God made me pretty, what happened to you?

When God created mankind, he said, "Damn it! One is off color, the other yellowish. The last one is burnt!"

God needed an extra two hands to make your fat ass of a mother.

Yo mama so black, when God saw her, he said, "Let there be light!" but twice.

Your mom is so fat that when God said, "Let there be light," he asked your mom to move out of the way.

What's the difference between you and Frankenstein?

He is not ugly like you; plus, he has a wife.

Why did God create women before men?

He didn’t want any advice on how to do it.

The dear God created the man.

Then he created woman.

When he then saw what he had done, he took care of tobacco and alcohol.

How do we get a butt? God made us like that, and we can't change it. If you wanted to, you have to die <:

Dolly Parton and Queen Elizabeth went to the Pearly Gates on the same day.

They both met with an Angel to find out if they would be admitted to Heaven.

The angel said, "Unfortunately, there's only one space in Heaven today, so I must decide which one of you will be admitted."

The Angel asked Dolly if there was some particular reason why she should go to Heaven.

Dolly took off her top and said, "Look at these, they're the most perfect breasts God ever created, and I'm sure it will please God to be able to see them every day, for eternity."

The Angel thanked Dolly and asked Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth, the same question.

The Queen walked over to a toilet, pulled the lever, and flushed it without saying a word.

The Angel immediately said, "OK, your Majesty, you may go into Heaven."

Dolly was outraged and asked, "What was that all about? I showed you two of God's own perfect creations, and you turned me down. She simply flushed a commode, and she got admitted to Heaven! Would you explain that to me?"

"Sorry, Dolly," said the Angel, "but even in Heaven, a royal flush beats a pair - no matter how big they are."

Why did Saturn have rings?

Because God liked it so he put a ring on it.

Yo mama so fat, when God said, "Let there be light," He was just asking her to move.

Yo mama so fat, when God said, "Let there be light," he just asked her to move.

Why doesn't Newton cut trees in vanilla Minecraft? Because he wants Minecraft to be realistic!

Today, I invented a new word: "plagiarism."

I have made a new word: Plagiarism.

Yo mama so fat, when God said, "Let there be light!" she blocked the sun. Now we call her the moon.

I tried to make a belt out of watches, but it was a waste of time.

What did Allah say when he created the universe?

-Allahu akbar!!!