Make jokes
Who comes once a year and makes your kids cry?
Rapey Santa.
What makes piracy and anti-piracy so unique?
One isn't that of a thief, while the other is as serious as fuck.
How do I make my dick disappear?
I put it in your dad.
What is Donald Trump's hairstyle called?
A comb-over.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
Tell him to clap until his parents come home.
Memes
salad
"I can lose 10 ugly pounds anytime I want -- I'll just cut off my head!"
Do you use humor to make light of your emotional eating and your weight? Make jokes about overeating and being fat as a way of getting along with other people? I was a Grand Champion at it.
A hobo couple is making out under a bridge.
The girlfriend goes: - Johnny, why is your dick so soft? - Flip me over, I’m trying to shit!
When God had to take a shit from making a good wife, you pasted between his ass cheeks...
Now why an office supply keep rape videos, to make sure it was on tape?
What makes Stephen Hawking and your dumped girlfriend similar?
They can't stand up for themselves.
TELL ME YOU'VE DONE THIS WITHOUT TELLING ME YOU'VE DONE THIS.!!! So, we all know when y'all were in school, y'all would fart, but y'all would try to make it silent, but for me, that one day I farted loud, and everyone could hear. Everyone got to blame the annoying kid.
How to make an orphan's feet bleed? Make them run in place until their parents get them.
What do you call 2 emos making out in a science classroom?
My Chemical Romance.
Some marriages can make short people look like Shaquille O'Neal.
Is Google male or female?
Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a fruit joke.
Snowmen and snowwomen take a stomach piece, making snowballs.
Welcome to Joe's pizza, you make 'em, we bake 'em.
For every dollar a man makes, a woman makes 70 cents.
That’s unfair! Now the man only has 30 cents!
Why shouldn't you make an orphan cry?
Because they won't have a parent to cry to.
What did the magician do as a trick in his show?
Make your doubts about magic... DISAPPEAR!