Make a jokes

How do you make a sad person jump?

A bridge.

Your mom is so slow, it took her 9 months to make a joke.

Trying to make a baby talk is like trying to negotiate with North Korea.

My sister argued with me that you can't make a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen her face when I drove pasta!

I was going to make a chemistry joke. But it looks like I won’t get a reaction :)

What did the make-a-wish kid say to the staff? "I don't wanna go to Disneyland, I wanna live longer."

My daughter said I could never make a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta!

Jeff, did you hear they're making a film about Jimmy Savile? It’s a very touchy subject.

Yeah, I did, Gary, but did you hear the reviews on the Bill Cosby film? People said it was so boring it put them to sleep.

I got some new jeans yesterday, until I realized they didn't fit me around the waist, so I went looking for a belt. I couldn't find one. Then I had a really good idea. I could attach a ton of watches together to make a belt! But then I just thought it was a waste of time.

Q: How do you make a 9/11 cocktail?

A: Light two Manhattans on fire and then knock them over.

I’ll make a joke about homeless people, but they just don’t work.

What makes a healthy normal man different to a disabled man?

"I'm still standing, yeah, yeah, yeah!" (from Elton John)

Why did the cat cross the road?

To make a catastrophy on the road.

I wanted to make a joke about homework, but sadly, I'm an orphan.

I was going to make a pun about math, but my answers never add up.

How do you make a baby astronaut sleep?

You rock-it!

How do you make a pink Smurf?

You peel the skin off.

I am trying to re-comment something that used to be on here, but is no longer on here.

Here are some rules to make a good joke:

1: Don't say “my life.”

2: Proofread your joke and make sure people can read it/have good grammar in it.

3: And don’t repost things (although this last one is hypocritical because this was me trying to repost something, but it is still a good rule to go by).

Q: How do you make a pool table laugh?

A: Tickle its balls.

How do you make a builder cry?

Kill his family.