Make a jokes
Your mom is so slow, it took her 9 months to make a joke.
How do you make a sad person jump?
A bridge.
Trying to make a baby talk is like trying to negotiate with North Korea.
My sister argued with me that you can't make a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen her face when I drove pasta!
I was going to make a chemistry joke. But it looks like I won’t get a reaction :)
What did the make-a-wish kid say to the staff? "I don't wanna go to Disneyland, I wanna live longer."
My daughter said I could never make a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta!
Jeff, did you hear they're making a film about Jimmy Savile? It’s a very touchy subject.
Yeah, I did, Gary, but did you hear the reviews on the Bill Cosby film? People said it was so boring it put them to sleep.
I got some new jeans yesterday, until I realized they didn't fit me around the waist, so I went looking for a belt. I couldn't find one. Then I had a really good idea. I could attach a ton of watches together to make a belt! But then I just thought it was a waste of time.
Q: How do you make a 9/11 cocktail?
A: Light two Manhattans on fire and then knock them over.
I wanted to make a joke about homework, but sadly, I'm an orphan.
Why did the cat cross the road?
To make a catastrophy on the road.
What makes a healthy normal man different to a disabled man?
"I'm still standing, yeah, yeah, yeah!" (from Elton John)
I’ll make a joke about homeless people, but they just don’t work.
I was going to make a pun about math, but my answers never add up.
How do you make a baby astronaut sleep?
You rock-it!
How do you make a pink Smurf?
You peel the skin off.
I am trying to re-comment something that used to be on here, but is no longer on here.
Here are some rules to make a good joke:
1: Don't say “my life.”
2: Proofread your joke and make sure people can read it/have good grammar in it.
3: And don’t repost things (although this last one is hypocritical because this was me trying to repost something, but it is still a good rule to go by).
Q: How do you make a pool table laugh?
A: Tickle its balls.
How do you make a builder cry?
Kill his family.