Make a jokes

How many feminists does it take to fix a lightbulb?

9: one to screw the lightbulb, one to film it, one to post about it on a women empowerment social media page, one to complain that the man didn’t screw the lightbulb, one to say that women deserve to screw more lightbulbs, one to try to get #womenlightbulbscrewers trending on Twitter, one to bring a man and show him the screwing, one to say that women are better than men at screwing lightbulbs, and one to make a speech about the lightbulb.

How do you make a dead baby float?

1 cup rootbeer 2 scoops dead baby.

Do you guys know how to make a hoe in Minecraft?

You pick it up off the street.

Three men were captured by a tribe and tortured. The leader of the tribe tells them that they would live only if they could achieve one thing: They had to go out and find 10 pieces of the same fruit each.

The first person returned with apples. The leader said that he had to put all 10 of them up into his ass without making a sound, or he would be killed. 1... 2... he screamed.

The next person came back with grapes. 1, 2, 3, he counted up to 8, but began to burst out laughing; he was killed. In heaven, the first man asked him why he laughed if he was doing so well. "Well, I saw the third guy coming back with fucking pineapples!"

What are the basic ingredients when a cannibal makes a sandwich?

2 slices of Brad.

My favorite place to make a bonfire? Orphanages, of course, silly!

What makes a healthy normal man different to a disabled man?

"They can move it, move it." (from King Julian)

Your ma is so slow, it took her 9 months to make a joke.

How do you make a dishwasher work again?

Smack her ass and say "get back to work!"

What is an orphan's favorite game? Sims, so they can make a family to have.

Why make a joke when I wake up and look at myself?

How do you make a blind person jealous? You ask if it's a nice day out.

I tried to make a belt out of watches, but it was a waste of time.

What makes a 360 no-scope and JFK's assassination similar?

Both were some of the greatest achievements in history to achieve.

I'm going to make a city just for people with special needs.

I'll call it Downtown.

How do you make a suicidal guy go bungee jumping?

Tie the bungee cord around his neck.

A man walks into a bar with his pet octopus and proudly claims the animal can play any musical instrument. The bartender pulls out a guitar from behind the bar and gives it to the octopus, which plays an amazing solo. Just then a Scotsman walks into the bar with a set of bagpipes. The octopus grabs the instrument and wrestles around with it on the ground, flailing about, making a horrible sound. The bartender says, "Hey, looks like he can't play that!" and the octopus says, "Play it? As soon as I get it's pajamas off, I'm gonna fuck it!"

How do you make a cat go "woof"?

... douse it in gasoline and set it on fire! "woof!"

Wait, isn't this Sans' job to make a joke?

They are making a movie about clocks.

It’s about time.