Why are Egyptian gods orphans?
Because Egypt needs to sell Anubis (a new bus) every year to make a prophet.
Make a Jokes
One day I came to my mom and said, "MOM!!! I can make a butterfly!"
Mom: "No you can't..."
Me: *throws butter out the window* Me: "Look I made a butterfly!"
lol this isn't funny but I hope you liked it.
Three people died and went to Hell. One of them is from America, the second guy is from Germany, and the third guy is from Afghanistan. The devil lets each person make a phone call to their loved ones in the country they came from, but they will be charged. The American spends 10 minutes on the phone and is charged $20. The German spends 12 minutes on the phone and is charged $24. The man from Afghanistan spends half an hour on the phone and is charged nothing. The other two guys asked the devil why. The devil responded: "Local calls are free."
Chuck Norris can make a fire with two ice cubes.
What shoes do pedophiles wear? White vans.
How do pedophiles fit in? They force it to go in.
How do you make a 16 mm hole into a 40 mm hole? A pedophile comes in.
What did Santa say when he was passing over some hookers? "Ho ho ho!"
My sister argued with me that you can't make a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen her face when I drove pasta!
I was going to make a rape joke, but I don’t think you would’ve given me consent.
Do you know how to make an orphan's hands bleed?
Tell them to clap until their parents come home.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You tell them to clap until their parents come home.
I am about to make a joke about cake. You butter believe it.
So, Little Johnny's teacher is warned at the beginning of the school year not to ever make a bet with Johnny unless she is absolutely sure she will win it. One day in class, Johnny raises his hand and says, "Teacher, I'll bet you $50 I can guess what color your underwear is." She replies, "Okay, meet me after class and we'll settle it." But before class ends, she goes to the restroom and removes her panties. After class is over and the students clear out, Johnny makes his guess. "Blue." "Nope. You got it wrong," she says as she lifts her skirt to reveal she isn't wearing any underwear. "Well, come with me out to my dad's car, he's waiting for me, and I'll get you the money." She follows him out. When they get to the car, she informs his dad that he got the bet wrong and that she showed Johnny that she wasn't wearing any underwear. His dad exclaims: "That mother fucker! He bet me $100 this morning that he'd see your pussy before the end of the day!"
I asked a Japanese chef how to make a good bowl of ramen, he said "Let me show you."
Your mom is so slow, it took her 9 months to make a joke.
How do you make a sad person jump?
A bridge.
Trying to make a baby talk is like trying to negotiate with North Korea.
I'd make a joke about an obese person, but it won't work out.
I was going to make a chemistry joke. But it looks like I won’t get a reaction :)
My daughter said I could never make a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta!
What did the make-a-wish kid say to the staff? "I don't wanna go to Disneyland, I wanna live longer."
I got some new jeans yesterday, until I realized they didn't fit me around the waist, so I went looking for a belt. I couldn't find one. Then I had a really good idea. I could attach a ton of watches together to make a belt! But then I just thought it was a waste of time.
