Make a jokes
Why can't an orphan make a YouTube channel?
'Cause they can't make it family friendly.
Today I saw my son lick out a tub of butter. I told him to make a sandwich without butter for a week (as a punishment). He said, "Okay," and licked the bread. "It's really easy to spread," he said. LOL!
Did you know Disney is making a movie for suicidal people?
They're calling it Finding Emo.
How do you make a disabled person cry?
Let's go play tag!
What do you do with epileptic lettuce? -- You make a seizure salad.
If Hillary and Biden got locked in a room together, all they would talk about is how to ruin America and make a plan to steal children.
"Hump a vow, it makes a cow."
Spock went to the Enterprise's toilet and he knocked on it. "Kirk, are you in there?" Spock asked.
Kirk answered, "Hold on, I am making a captain's log."
I went, I saw, I poop at hole. I make a portal.
Daughter: So, I got my period.
Mom: That's wonderful, dear! Now you can bleed for a whole week a month without dying!
Daughter: That's nice, Mum, but isn't the whole point of getting your period dying?
Mom: Yes, but you have to kill yourself a little longer to live through to another day.
Daughter: Thanks, Mum. That makes a whole lot of sense. (Sarcastically.)
Mom: You're welcome, honey. (Clueless, obviously.)
How do you make a juggler laugh? You tickle his balls.
What kind of animal makes a good bottle opener?
A male Duck on Viagra.
Your mom is so slow, it took her 9 months to make a joke.
I'd make a joke about corn, but it's too corny.
Then again, I could make a joke about eyes, but that would be even cornea. My funny bone is broken. I guess it was because those jokes were too humerus.
How do you make a trash can leak?
Hit it with an axe until it becomes part of the cosmos!
How do you make a plumber cry?
Break his pipes...
What do you say to make a redhead mad?
Anything.
Here's a list of puns, not all of them are mine.
1. Smaller babies may be delivered by stork, but the heavier ones need a crane.
2. Yesterday, I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m okay, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.
3. My sister bet that I couldn’t build a car out of spaghetti. You should’ve seen her face when I drove pasta.
4. Getting the ability to fly would be so uplifting.
5. Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
6. Why was the cookie sad? Because his mom was a wafer long!
7. Why didn’t the cat go to the vet? He was feline fine!
8. How do you make a good egg-roll? You push it down a hill!
9. That baseball player was such a bad sport. He stole third base and then just went home!
10. My parents said I can’t drink coffee anymore. Or else they’ll ground me!
How do you make a baby cry?
You run over it with a lawn mower.
What does a baby and a grenade have in common?
They both make a noise when you throw them.