Make a

Make a jokes

Woman

11 views ·

When God created women, it was an accident. He meant to make a man, but then "WHOA-MAN!!"

Charity

208 views ·

I decided to make a charity bungee jump for the local disabled. It's called "Spastics on Elastics."

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  • Name

    49 views ·

    How can you make a woman scream your name when you have sex with her?

    Change your name to "Rape."

    Comedian

    17 views ·

    The worst comedians take 9 months to make a joke. Then they spend the rest of their lives trying to forget it.

    Mum

    3 views ·

    Your mum is so slow, it took her nine months to make a joke.

    Chip

    8 views ·

    (True story) Today I was bringing some tortilla chips upstairs for some chips and dip, and I dropped them, so my mom goes “Oh, now they’re broken.”

    And I took an opportunity to make a pun, so I said, “No, they’re just chipped.”

    Blonde girl

    21 views ·

    Three blonde girls are on an island, and they are much too far away from land to swim. They find a genie on the island who offers them each one wish. The first girl says, "I wish I was smart enough to get off this island!" So the genie makes her a redheaded girl, she cuts down a tree, makes it into a boat, and proceeds to row off the island.

    The next girl says, "I wish I was even smarter than her so I don't have to do so much manual labor!" So she turns into a brunette and makes a sailboat and lets the wind take her off the island.

    The final girl says, "I wish I was smarter than both of them!" So she turns into a man and takes the bridge.

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  • Boss

    8 views ·

    Bosses are like seagulls.

    They fly in, make a lot of noise, crap all over everything, then fly out.

    Misunderstanding

    16 views ·

    Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning, and his dad was making a lot of mistakes. Suddenly, his dad screams, "Bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant, and his dad replied, "Aunts and uncles." Oh. Next thing he hears is, "Dicks and pussies!" Johnny asks, "What's that mean?" To which his dad replied, "Uh, coats and hats." Oh. Next thing he knows, he sees his dad jumping around the bathroom yelling, "Fucking, fuck, fuck, FUCK!" "What does that mean, dad?" And his dad yells, "Cut, Johnny, it means cut!!!" Oh. Next week is Thanksgiving, and the doorbell rings, and Johnny answers it and says, "Hey, bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, dad's in the kitchen fucking the turkey."