Made jokes
What was the first man made out of? Adams! (Atoms)
What's the difference between apples and orphans? Apples actually get picked.
I made a website for orphans, but sadly it didn't have a home page.
Caesar went to the future only to see how the Romans forgot Julius Caesar but only made a salad... I think it would have been better if Caesar stayed dead.
Julius Caesar (salad) made easy.
Chuck Norris can make Minute Maid lemonade in 5 seconds.
Yo mama so ugly, she made Kanye West go east.
My wife is an optimist. Our first night together, she handed me a Magnum XL condom. I didn’t know what to do, so I made her a balloon animal 🎈🦒.
Someone handed me a knife the other day and told me that it was very smart.
I made sure it didn't outsmart me.
Everything is made in China, except babies... They are made in Vachina.
There are 6 kinds of vitamins. Wanna know how the 6th vitamin was made? Just ask the Ku Klux Klan, they will tell you.
Some kids at school made fun of me for playing Halo. I gave them a halo.
What did kings say when they were made king?
Allah ail (All hail) [insert name here]!
I made a bunch of jokes about unemployed people. Sadly, all of them don't work.
God: ok, what if I made an evil land octopus that could walk on walls?
Symptoms of Schizophrenia.
The symptoms of this condition are fairly easy to recognize because they stand out so distinctly from a person’s usual behavior. In order for a diagnosis to be made, the person must suffer from two or more of the following for at least one month:
Delusions
Hallucinations
Symptoms of Schizophrenia
The symptoms of this condition are fairly easy to recognize because they stand out so distinctly from a person’s usual behavior. In order for a diagnosis to be made, the person must suffer from two more of the following for at least one month:
Delusions
Hallucinations
Three guys landed on a cannibal island. The cannibal chef told them if they wanted to live, they had to go get 10 of one fruit and bring it to him, and he would tell them what to do.
So the first guy brings 10 apples, and the chef said if he could shove all 10 of those in his ass without making a sound, he could live. He was three apples in and made a sound, and they ate him. The second guy brought grapes; nine grapes in, and he burst out laughing. The cannibals ate him. Then the first guy said, "Why'd you laugh? You were almost there!" The other guy who had the grapes said, "I couldn't help it, I was told the third guy came back with 10 pineapples."
My girlfriend's dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one.
It just made her more upset. She screamed at me, "What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?"
I'm made with depression and extra anxiety, then a side of gay and a sprinkle of emo.
I knew the human race made mistakes, but you're the worst I've seen so far...