Love jokes
IDK K LOVE THIS APP BTW
Roses are red, lemons are sour.
Open your legs and give me an hour.
Are you a gun because I want to live with you?
Mom: Anna, let your younger brother have the sled one half of the time, and you the other half. That way it will all be fair, and I don't have to put up with this crying. I've already got seven others to take care of.
Anna: I do, Mom. I have Fred (younger brother) go up, and I go down!
Mom: Good. Now how 'bout the rest of you go play outside? It's beautiful out there! It's the warmest it's been all year, 45 degrees below 0!
Kids: Wow! I never thought it would warm up! I love Alaska!
My ex was an orphan as a child.
I should have taken that as the first sign.
If her parents didn't want her, why would I?
Why do eight-year-old girls wear panties with flowers on?
In loving memory of all the faces that were buried in there.
Roses are red, violets are blue, my mom and dad died, next you'll be gone too.
What do you call a guy who loves to eat out a hoe's pussy?
Answer: a Carnivwhore.
Cause she loves to toss the salad even though she ain’t a chef!
Kid: Why do orphans like tennis?
Dad: Because it's the only time they get "love."
What's a pirate's favorite letter?
(People will then say "r")
Arrr, you think it be "r" but really it's the "C" that they love.
What's a pirate's least favorite letter?
Dear sir,
You are being investigated for downloading illegal copyrighted material, and your internet will be cut off.
What did the Queen Bee of Destiny's Child say?
"I'm so crazy in love..."
What does an orphan wish they could do?
Wish happy Mother's Day and Father's Day.
I love gay people. UwU
I will tell you a story. There was a fruit named Pear who was named Dyck. He one day met his friend Carrot, who was later killed after being stuck into some girl's vagina.
Pear then became very sadistic and no one loved him, and he became mentally fruit-pressed. One day he met a Banana named Harvey Weinstein, and they got married and had children who were all named Minion. Eventually, the rest of his family died, and Pear was left slowly rotting away. His last words were, "I have finally 'peared' the consequences of all my actions."
Blood is red.
Bruises are blue. I forget the rest... um, I hate you...?
My mom loves balls.
But my dad has been gone for the last 4 years.
My girlfriend's sister told me to write her a poem. This is what I came up with:
roses are red, violets are blue, if you ever feel alone, I'm always watching you.
My sister said I was only allowed to grate cheese, so I said to her that I’d prove her wrong.
The next day my mum asked me why my cheese was tan, and I said it was my own special recipe. My mum loved the cheese but she didn’t like it much after the funeral.
A guy and his girl just finished making love.
Just as they lay next to each other, the girl asks, "Have you thought about any baby names?"
The guy then takes his condom off and ties it, and says, "Well, probably David Copperfield, if he gets out of this!"