Love jokes
"I work with animals," the man said to his date.
His date said, "I love a man who works with animals. What job is it for the animal?"
"I am a butcher," said the man.
Why do depressed people want to kill themselves?
To be loved on the news show for 10 minutes.
My girlfriend accused me of cheating. I told her she was starting to sound like my other girlfriend.
Yesterday I made food using oil--olive oil.
(I love oil!)
When you donate a kidney, you are a total hero, everyone loves you.
When you donate five kidneys though, people start yelling, the police gets called--sheesh!
Why do women wear panties with flowers on them?
In loving memory of all the faces that have been buried there.
Dating 101:
Here's what you do:
1. Dinner. 2. Kiss. 3. Movie. 4. Sex. 5. Bring her back home. 6. Get paid 15 bucks for babysitting.
What does a depressed kid who loves geometry use to kill themself?
A hypoteNUSE!
Why do women love Chinese food? Because WON TON spelled backward is NOT NOW!
I could never fall out of a boat because I've already fallen for you.
Why can’t orphans be married?
Because they won’t have their parents' blessings.
Marry or don't marry, you will regret both!
What song do supportive parents of a closeted child love?
“The Son Will Come Out Tomorrow.”
My girlfriend really wants me to get her pregnant so she would have a father figure in her life for once.
What did Cinderella say to Prince Charming?
"Want to see if it fits?"
Why do rappers love the gym?
'Cause they're all about them heavy bars.
My girlfriend's sister told me to write her a poem. This is what I came up with:
roses are red, violets are blue, if you ever feel alone, I'm always watching you.
Why does your grandma like gardening so much?
Because she loves getting dirty down on her knees.
A piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner.
"Oh, Bunsen, my flame," the sodium swooned. "I melt whenever I see you!"
The Bunsen burner replied, "Calm down. It's just a phase you're going through."
Girl: I’m so in love with you!
Boy: Me too. I think you’re abcdefghijk: aesthetic, beautiful, cool, determined, elegant, famous, hot.
Girl: What’s the ijk?
Boy: I’m just kidding.