Love jokes
Love you baby :^
God loved you so much that He gave you one face and started clearing off a place for another.
I love it when your parents come round for Christmas. I just wish we couldn't hear them through the ceiling.
5 4 3 2 1. I love the huge bright sun. 5 4 3 2 1. My life has just begun. Though Akeld and Unkown, make me feel alone, they want be dead, and off with my head, and all I said was... NO FRICKIN' HATIN' IN THESE COMMENTS! WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!
"I work with animals," the man said to his date.
His date said, "I love a man who works with animals. What job is it for the animal?"
"I am a butcher," said the man.
Memes
Always!
There are times I miss you, that I wish I could remember where I hid your body.
Why do depressed people want to kill themselves?
To be loved on the news show for 10 minutes.
Yesterday I made food using oil--olive oil.
(I love oil!)
When you donate a kidney, you are a total hero, everyone loves you.
When you donate five kidneys though, people start yelling, the police gets called--sheesh!
My girlfriend accused me of cheating. I told her she was starting to sound like my other girlfriend.
Dating 101:
Here's what you do:
1. Dinner. 2. Kiss. 3. Movie. 4. Sex. 5. Bring her back home. 6. Get paid 15 bucks for babysitting.
I could never fall out of a boat because I've already fallen for you.
Why do women wear panties with flowers on them?
In loving memory of all the faces that have been buried there.
What did Cinderella say to Prince Charming?
"Want to see if it fits?"
My girlfriend's sister told me to write her a poem. This is what I came up with:
roses are red, violets are blue, if you ever feel alone, I'm always watching you.
Why do rappers love the gym?
'Cause they're all about them heavy bars.
The other day I went on a romantic cruise in Hawaii. Then I met my girl Zendaya on board. She was shaking her ass and playing with her penis. Then she asked me, "Hey, you wanna make love in the cabin?" I said, "Sure, sweet thang," gave me her number, kissed me on the cheek. Next day she woke up because it was a romantic nightmare.
What does an orphan wish they could do?
Wish happy Mother's Day and Father's Day.
People should build orphanages next to graveyards so at least orphans can see their parents.
What has 2 legs and loves to play with little kids? The local priest.