Love jokes

What song do supportive parents of a closeted child love?

“The Son Will Come Out Tomorrow.”

My girlfriend really wants me to get her pregnant so she would have a father figure in her life for once.

I could never fall out of a boat because I've already fallen for you.

My girlfriend's sister told me to write her a poem. This is what I came up with:

roses are red, violets are blue, if you ever feel alone, I'm always watching you.

Dating 101:

Here's what you do:

1. Dinner. 2. Kiss. 3. Movie. 4. Sex. 5. Bring her back home. 6. Get paid 15 bucks for babysitting.

Why do rappers love the gym?

'Cause they're all about them heavy bars.

Marry or don't marry, you will regret both!

Roses are red, violets are blue, she's only red bc she sucked you.

Girl: I’m so in love with you!

Boy: Me too. I think you’re abcdefghijk: aesthetic, beautiful, cool, determined, elegant, famous, hot.

Girl: What’s the ijk?

Boy: I’m just kidding.

Why can’t orphans be married?

Because they won’t have their parents' blessings.

Genie: You cannot wish for more wishes, immortality, or love.

Man: I wish not to die a virgin.

Genie: I just said no wishing for immortality!

Yesterday I made food using oil--olive oil.

(I love oil!)

My girlfriend accused me of cheating. I told her she was starting to sound like my other girlfriend.

What did Cinderella say to Prince Charming?

"Want to see if it fits?"

The other day I went on a romantic cruise in Hawaii. Then I met my girl Zendaya on board. She was shaking her ass and playing with her penis. Then she asked me, "Hey, you wanna make love in the cabin?" I said, "Sure, sweet thang," gave me her number, kissed me on the cheek. Next day she woke up because it was a romantic nightmare.

What has 2 legs and loves to play with little kids? The local priest.

My Wife: How much do you love me??

Me: Count all the stars.

My Wife: Aww, infinity.

Me: No, a waste of time.

I love trash bags because they remind me of my heart... black.

I love big hot sexy men.

What do orphans want to get for Christmas?... A mother.