Love

Love jokes

Son

What song do supportive parents of a closeted child love?

“The Son Will Come Out Tomorrow.”

Father Figure

My girlfriend really wants me to get her pregnant so she would have a father figure in her life for once.

Boat

I could never fall out of a boat because I've already fallen for you.

Poem

My girlfriend's sister told me to write her a poem. This is what I came up with:

roses are red, violets are blue, if you ever feel alone, I'm always watching you.

Babysitting

Dating 101:

Here's what you do:

1. Dinner. 2. Kiss. 3. Movie. 4. Sex. 5. Bring her back home. 6. Get paid 15 bucks for babysitting.

Memes

Rose

Roses are red, violets are blue, she's only red bc she sucked you.

Girl

Girl: I’m so in love with you!

Boy: Me too. I think you’re abcdefghijk: aesthetic, beautiful, cool, determined, elegant, famous, hot.

Girl: What’s the ijk?

Boy: I’m just kidding.

Orphan

Why can’t orphans be married?

Because they won’t have their parents' blessings.

Wish

Genie: You cannot wish for more wishes, immortality, or love.

Man: I wish not to die a virgin.

Genie: I just said no wishing for immortality!

Girlfriend

My girlfriend accused me of cheating. I told her she was starting to sound like my other girlfriend.

Michael Jackson

Michael Jackson

What's Michael Jackson's favorite things to say to little boys? "I'd really love to see you-hoo-hoo tonight," and "I can't smile without you-hoo-hoo."

Michael Jackson

Michael Jackson

What does Michael Jackson like to use to clean himself? Baby wipes.

What are Michael Joseph Jackson's favorite songs? "Baby Love" and "Baby Talk to Me."

Nightmare

The other day I went on a romantic cruise in Hawaii. Then I met my girl Zendaya on board. She was shaking her ass and playing with her penis. Then she asked me, "Hey, you wanna make love in the cabin?" I said, "Sure, sweet thang," gave me her number, kissed me on the cheek. Next day she woke up because it was a romantic nightmare.

Wife

My Wife: How much do you love me??

Me: Count all the stars.

My Wife: Aww, infinity.

Me: No, a waste of time.