Love Jokes

A guy and his girl just finished making love.

Just as they lay next to each other, the girl asks, "Have you thought about any baby names?"

The guy then takes his condom off and ties it, and says, "Well, probably David Copperfield, if he gets out of this!"

What is cold and alone?

An orphan's parent.

Why is an orphan bad a at tennis?

Cuz eh couldn't get any love

Love that dress; it would look much better on my floor, though.

A married woman asked her husband if he saw the future. The husband answered her, "I have no eye, dear."

Always!

The image is a four-panel grid. The first panel contains the text "The pupil can expand as much as 55% when you look at something you love". The second panel shows a man with a normal pupil. The third panel is a picture of various cheeses. The fourth panel shows the same man with his pupils completely black.

Why does your grandma like gardening so much?

Because she loves getting dirty down on her knees.

God loved you so much that He gave you one face and started clearing off a place for another.

I burnt down an orphanage and then showed an orphan the orphanage that I burned down, and he loved it. Not really, though.

When you donate a kidney, you are a total hero, everyone loves you.

When you donate five kidneys though, people start yelling, the police gets called--sheesh!

Why do depressed people want to kill themselves?

To be loved on the news show for 10 minutes.

Yesterday I made food using oil--olive oil.

(I love oil!)

The other day I went on a romantic cruise in Hawaii. Then I met my girl Zendaya on board. She was shaking her ass and playing with her penis. Then she asked me, "Hey, you wanna make love in the cabin?" I said, "Sure, sweet thang," gave me her number, kissed me on the cheek. Next day she woke up because it was a romantic nightmare.