What do you call a guy who loves to eat out a hoe's pussy?
Answer: a Carnivwhore.
What did Cinderella say to Prince Charming?
"Want to see if it fits?"
Roses are red, violets are blue. I thought Voldemort was ugly, then I saw you.
I love sucking on food because if you really think about it, tits can be counted as food, so I could technically suck on a woman's tits.
Me: Breathe right now if you wanna date me.
What's the difference between friends and family?
One is actually real.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. Your wife needs Jon Grudon, too.
Roses are red, I like weed,
If you say yes then I'll do a "good deed."
I love stairs. They always bring me up.
What do you call Holly and Elenji?
A couple.
Stephanie is my name.
I love my name.
I love you, Hebrew John.
I love still things.
How did the skeleton win the girl? He was humerus.
He: I'm Nike, and you're McDonalds.
She: Why?
He: 'Cause I'm doing it, and you're loving it. :)
Man, I don’t need Viagra when I see Mara!
Roses are red, lemons are sour.
Open your legs and give me an hour.
A buddy and I checked out some books from a local library. When we returned them, he said, "Your sister works the returns, right?" I told him, "Yes, she does, and she will be here in about five minutes." He said, "Why don’t we put a cookbook in the women’s sports section?" I told him, "I love it!" So I picked out a Reese Witherspoon book.
I gotta song for Hawaii, baby, you light up my world like nobody else.
