Love jokes

Why do women love Chinese food? Because WON TON spelled backward is NOT NOW!

The other day I went on a romantic cruise in Hawaii. Then I met my girl Zendaya on board. She was shaking her ass and playing with her penis. Then she asked me, "Hey, you wanna make love in the cabin?" I said, "Sure, sweet thang," gave me her number, kissed me on the cheek. Next day she woke up because it was a romantic nightmare.

Friend: Why do you like Minecraft so much?

Me: Because I love miners!

What does an orphan wish they could do?

Wish happy Mother's Day and Father's Day.

People should build orphanages next to graveyards so at least orphans can see their parents.

What has 2 legs and loves to play with little kids? The local priest.

If you feel sad, or you feel that you are not loved... You're with mushroom pizza.

"Prostitutes love their jobs; they're always having a blast!"

Why does an orphan's calendar only have 362 days? Because they don't celebrate Father's Day, Mother's Day, and Valentine's Day.

What do orphans want to get for Christmas?... A mother.

What does a male Asian P*rnstar like to say?

"I love eating cat."

BF: Babe, I have two questions.

GF: Ok, ask!

BF: Where have you been all my life?

GF: Aww, that's so sweet. And the second question?

BF: Can you please go back there?

My Wife: How much do you love me??

Me: Count all the stars.

My Wife: Aww, infinity.

Me: No, a waste of time.

I love trash bags because they remind me of my heart... black.

You are my compass; without you, I’m lost.

I love Little Mix.

What dinosaur loves music?

The velociRAPtor!

I love going to church to get closer to God, but my least favorite part of church has to be touching the priest’s penis.

My heart is like a plane.

It crashes every once in a while.

I love breakups. My ex-girlfriends always end up in pieces.