Love jokes

If you feel sad, or you feel that you are not loved... You're with mushroom pizza.

"Prostitutes love their jobs; they're always having a blast!"

Why does an orphan's calendar only have 362 days? Because they don't celebrate Father's Day, Mother's Day, and Valentine's Day.

What do orphans want to get for Christmas?... A mother.

What does a male Asian P*rnstar like to say?

"I love eating cat."

BF: Babe, I have two questions.

GF: Ok, ask!

BF: Where have you been all my life?

GF: Aww, that's so sweet. And the second question?

BF: Can you please go back there?

My Wife: How much do you love me??

Me: Count all the stars.

My Wife: Aww, infinity.

Me: No, a waste of time.

I love trash bags because they remind me of my heart... black.

I love big hot sexy men.

You are my compass; without you, I’m lost.

I love Little Mix.

What dinosaur loves music?

The velociRAPtor!

I love going to church to get closer to God, but my least favorite part of church has to be touching the priest’s penis.

Friend: Why do you like Minecraft so much?

Me: Because I love miners!

My heart is like a plane.

It crashes every once in a while.

I love breakups. My ex-girlfriends always end up in pieces.

My brother's addicted to buying ladders; he loves to get high.

Roses are red, violets are blue, When I see you, I play with my poo.

So a girl says to her ex, "I can't get you out of my mind, the boyfriend I knew." The girl replies, "I see you in everything, like when I'm walking down the street, even at work, like trash cans are everywhere."

A Chinese boy never met his parents after they were killed in WW2, so when he learned where they were buried, he quickly rushed there.

He sat down in front of their graves and prayed, "I want to see your face again, mommy..." A miracle happened; his mother rose up from the graves and hugged him.

The boy cried then said, "I want to see you too, dad." He looked at his father's grave, but nothing happened.

Suddenly, a Japanese soldier came up behind him and asked, "Were you looking for me?"