Love jokes
Small word of advice: Don't wait till next month or next year to do stuff with the people you love, because they may be gone by then. You don't realize, but every second there is someone who dies, and it just could be your loved one.
"I work with animals," the man said to his date.
His date said, "I love a man who works with animals. What job is it for the animal?"
"I am a butcher," said the man.
There are times I miss you, that I wish I could remember where I hid your body.
I love it when your parents come round for Christmas. I just wish we couldn't hear them through the ceiling.
5 4 3 2 1. I love the huge bright sun. 5 4 3 2 1. My life has just begun. Though Akeld and Unkown, make me feel alone, they want be dead, and off with my head, and all I said was... NO FRICKIN' HATIN' IN THESE COMMENTS! WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!
Why do depressed people want to kill themselves?
To be loved on the news show for 10 minutes.
My girlfriend accused me of cheating. I told her she was starting to sound like my other girlfriend.
The other day I went on a romantic cruise in Hawaii. Then I met my girl Zendaya on board. She was shaking her ass and playing with her penis. Then she asked me, "Hey, you wanna make love in the cabin?" I said, "Sure, sweet thang," gave me her number, kissed me on the cheek. Next day she woke up because it was a romantic nightmare.
A Chinese boy never met his parents after they were killed in WW2, so when he learned where they were buried, he quickly rushed there.
He sat down in front of their graves and prayed, "I want to see your face again, mommy..." A miracle happened; his mother rose up from the graves and hugged him.
The boy cried then said, "I want to see you too, dad." He looked at his father's grave, but nothing happened.
Suddenly, a Japanese soldier came up behind him and asked, "Were you looking for me?"
Why does family love family?
Because everyone has their Friday night nut together.
I love Little Mix.
What dinosaur loves music?
The velociRAPtor!
What does an orphan wish they could do?
Wish happy Mother's Day and Father's Day.
People should build orphanages next to graveyards so at least orphans can see their parents.
What has 2 legs and loves to play with little kids? The local priest.
Friend: Why do you like Minecraft so much?
Me: Because I love miners!
What does a male Asian P*rnstar like to say?
"I love eating cat."
What do orphans want to get for Christmas?... A mother.
"Prostitutes love their jobs; they're always having a blast!"
Why does an orphan's calendar only have 362 days? Because they don't celebrate Father's Day, Mother's Day, and Valentine's Day.