Love jokes
Yesterday I made food using oil--olive oil.
(I love oil!)
What does a depressed kid who loves geometry use to kill themself?
A hypoteNUSE!
The other day I went on a romantic cruise in Hawaii. Then I met my girl Zendaya on board. She was shaking her ass and playing with her penis. Then she asked me, "Hey, you wanna make love in the cabin?" I said, "Sure, sweet thang," gave me her number, kissed me on the cheek. Next day she woke up because it was a romantic nightmare.
A Chinese boy never met his parents after they were killed in WW2, so when he learned where they were buried, he quickly rushed there.
He sat down in front of their graves and prayed, "I want to see your face again, mommy..." A miracle happened; his mother rose up from the graves and hugged him.
The boy cried then said, "I want to see you too, dad." He looked at his father's grave, but nothing happened.
Suddenly, a Japanese soldier came up behind him and asked, "Were you looking for me?"
I love going to church to get closer to God, but my least favorite part of church has to be touching the priest’s penis.
People should build orphanages next to graveyards so at least orphans can see their parents.
What has 2 legs and loves to play with little kids? The local priest.
Friend: Why do you like Minecraft so much?
Me: Because I love miners!
What do orphans want to get for Christmas?... A mother.
What does a male Asian P*rnstar like to say?
"I love eating cat."
My Wife: How much do you love me??
Me: Count all the stars.
My Wife: Aww, infinity.
Me: No, a waste of time.
I love trash bags because they remind me of my heart... black.
"Prostitutes love their jobs; they're always having a blast!"
BF: Babe, I have two questions.
GF: Ok, ask!
BF: Where have you been all my life?
GF: Aww, that's so sweet. And the second question?
BF: Can you please go back there?
If you feel sad, or you feel that you are not loved... You're with mushroom pizza.
You are my compass; without you, I’m lost.
What dinosaur loves music?
The velociRAPtor!
I love Little Mix.
What does an orphan wish they could do?
Wish happy Mother's Day and Father's Day.
Why does an orphan's calendar only have 362 days? Because they don't celebrate Father's Day, Mother's Day, and Valentine's Day.