Love jokes

A guy and his girl just finished making love.

Just as they lay next to each other, the girl asks, "Have you thought about any baby names?"

The guy then takes his condom off and ties it, and says, "Well, probably David Copperfield, if he gets out of this!"

My dad died in 9/11. At least he did what he loves best: flying planes.

What is cold and alone?

An orphan's parent.

"I work with animals," the man said to his date.

His date said, "I love a man who works with animals. What job is it for the animal?"

"I am a butcher," said the man.

I love it when your parents come round for Christmas. I just wish we couldn't hear them through the ceiling.

5 4 3 2 1. I love the huge bright sun. 5 4 3 2 1. My life has just begun. Though Akeld and Unkown, make me feel alone, they want be dead, and off with my head, and all I said was... NO FRICKIN' HATIN' IN THESE COMMENTS! WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

There are times I miss you, that I wish I could remember where I hid your body.

Why is Ronnie Anne in love with Lincoln? Because he has a fat nugen.

Why is an orphan crying about its family?

Because it can't "let it go."

Are you a bullet? 'Cause you're stuck in my head.

Prince, I love you very much! Happy anniversary! Love you! ❤️❤️😘

I asked what was her favorite type of magic. She said, "the one you make."

I asked the orphan why he was crying. He didn't really say anything.

Then I asked where are your parents? He cried more. I love working at the orphanage.

Why do orphans love Home Alone?

They like to see a familiar picture.

What's worse, being loved or hated? 'Cause when you're loved you could be left alone or be betrayed, but when you're hated no one's there to leave you. What do you think?

Why do depressed people want to kill themselves?

To be loved on the news show for 10 minutes.

When you donate a kidney, you are a total hero, everyone loves you.

When you donate five kidneys though, people start yelling, the police gets called--sheesh!

A piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner.

"Oh, Bunsen, my flame," the sodium swooned. "I melt whenever I see you!"

The Bunsen burner replied, "Calm down. It's just a phase you're going through."

Why do women wear panties with flowers on them?

In loving memory of all the faces that have been buried there.

Why does your grandma like gardening so much?

Because she loves getting dirty down on her knees.