Love jokes
A piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner.
"Oh, Bunsen, my flame," the sodium swooned. "I melt whenever I see you!"
The Bunsen burner replied, "Calm down. It's just a phase you're going through."
Why does your grandma like gardening so much?
Because she loves getting dirty down on her knees.
My girlfriend really wants me to get her pregnant so she would have a father figure in her life for once.
Why do women love Chinese food? Because WON TON spelled backward is NOT NOW!
A male unexploded landmine was in love with a female unexploded landmine, and he said to her...
"Hey, baby, we should bang sometime!"
"You only get offended because it's true"
Girl: I’m so in love with you!
Boy: Me too. I think you’re abcdefghijk: aesthetic, beautiful, cool, determined, elegant, famous, hot.
Girl: What’s the ijk?
Boy: I’m just kidding.
A guy and his girl just finished making love.
Just as they lay next to each other, the girl asks, "Have you thought about any baby names?"
The guy then takes his condom off and ties it, and says, "Well, probably David Copperfield, if he gets out of this!"
Man, I don’t need Viagra when I see Mara!
Marry or don't marry, you will regret both!
Why do women wear panties with flowers on them?
In loving memory of all the faces that have been buried there.
What did Cinderella say to Prince Charming?
"Want to see if it fits?"
What song do supportive parents of a closeted child love?
“The Son Will Come Out Tomorrow.”
Why do rappers love the gym?
'Cause they're all about them heavy bars.
My girlfriend's sister told me to write her a poem. This is what I came up with:
roses are red, violets are blue, if you ever feel alone, I'm always watching you.
Why is an orphan bad at tennis?
'Cause he couldn't get any love.
Why can’t orphans be married?
Because they won’t have their parents' blessings.
Love that dress; it would look much better on my floor, though.
My dad died in 9/11. At least he did what he loves best: flying planes.
What is cold and alone?
An orphan's parent.
I burnt down an orphanage and then showed an orphan the orphanage that I burned down, and he loved it. Not really, though.