Love jokes

Why is an orphan bad at tennis?

'Cause he couldn't get any love.

Marry or don't marry, you will regret both!

Man, I don’t need Viagra when I see Mara!

My girlfriend really wants me to get her pregnant so she would have a father figure in her life for once.

Why do rappers love the gym?

'Cause they're all about them heavy bars.

A piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner.

"Oh, Bunsen, my flame," the sodium swooned. "I melt whenever I see you!"

The Bunsen burner replied, "Calm down. It's just a phase you're going through."

Why does your grandma like gardening so much?

Because she loves getting dirty down on her knees.

What song do supportive parents of a closeted child love?

“The Son Will Come Out Tomorrow.”

What is cold and alone?

An orphan's parent.

Why do emos love the winter? Because of the long sleeves.

I burnt down an orphanage and then showed an orphan the orphanage that I burned down, and he loved it. Not really, though.

A married woman asked her husband if he saw the future. The husband answered her, "I have no eye, dear."

Love that dress; it would look much better on my floor, though.

I love when I could run through the grass and feel the wind on my face.

Then my mom told me to get off VR, and then I wheeled myself to her.

My dad died in 9/11. At least he did what he loves best: flying planes.

A guy and his girl just finished making love.

Just as they lay next to each other, the girl asks, "Have you thought about any baby names?"

The guy then takes his condom off and ties it, and says, "Well, probably David Copperfield, if he gets out of this!"

🎵Penaldo Thrills🎵

C’mon c’mon turn the VAR on.

It's Penalty time and it won't be long.

Gotta dive and cry some more.

It's Penalty time and it won't be long.

‘Til I Hit the floor and dive alot.

Cry some more and dive alot. That all I need, because I got u my love, Penalty.

What candy loves shooting stars? Starbursts!

Why does the orphan like nature? He can call someone "mother."

I told my husband he should embrace his mistakes.

He hugged me!