Love jokes
What is Michael Jackson's favorite game? Jacks.
Why? He loved to play with the little balls.
What famous book writer for kids loved insects?
Beatrix Potter.
What's the difference between my girlfriend and my uncle?
My girlfriend didn't go to jail for loving me.
Woman: Will you love me after marriage as well?
Man: That will depend on your husband. If he will, so of course I would!
A young Greek couple got married, and at their wedding...
...the mother of the bride took the bride aside for a quick chat.
"My sweet," she said, "you're now a woman. I'm so proud. Some advice for you now that you're married: Greek men are very particular, and at some point when you're making love to your new husband, he might suggest that you 'turn around,' if you know what I mean. If that sort of thing makes you uncomfortable, do not feel pressured to say yes."
The bride thanked her mother for the advice, and the wedding continued. That night, as she and her husband consummated the marriage, she was mildly surprised to learn that he never asked her to 'turn around.'
They spent a beautiful week together on their honeymoon and made love many times. But still, to her mild surprise, her husband never asked her to 'turn around.'
Their one year anniversary arrived, and they made love to celebrate the milestone. But again, to her mild surprise, the husband never asked her to 'turn around.' This continued for years: their second anniversary, third, fourth...
Finally, on their fifth anniversary, her husband started getting romantic with her in bed and said, "Honey, we've been married for five years. I was thinking we maybe try something new. I thought this time you could 'turn around,' if you know what I mean."
She replied, emphatically, "No! No, I do not do that, I am not that kind of woman!"
Without getting defensive, her husband simply said, "That's all well and good, honey. But I thought you said you wanted children?"
Yeah, she said, "Do you love me?" I said, "Only partly. I love my bed and my mommy. I'm sorry."
🤔 What does BLM stand for? Blacks Love Masturbation 💘 💘 💘 💘 ☺ 😀 👍 👍
Karien: Mom, I don't care if you're dating a new guy, I want you and Dad to be together!
Daiana: Sometimes things don't work out, like when it didn't work between your father and me. Time to move on, Karien.
Karien: Well I'm not moving on! I can't believe you love someone else!
Daiana: Karien, just give him a chance. His name is Derek, he loves cooking, cleaning, and anything that has you doing something.
Karien: That is so boring!
Daiana: Well just work with me please?
Karien: I'll give you a day... 24 hours, Mom!
I decided to take my mother-in-law out the other day. I love being a hitman.
Why can't an orphan have sex?
They have no one to call "daddy."
New horror movie idea. The main character loves anime. The killer yells "Omae wa mou shindeiru." The main character instinctively yells back "NANI???" and is killed.
A man sees a woman. He falls in love with her. Little did he know she had AIDS.
Who loves walnut? Wallace!
Yo, sis, come here.
Sis: What?
Me: Oh, sorry, you doing school?
Sis: Yup.
Me: Can I go?
Sis: No way, you're going to hug me.
Me: I love you.
Friend: Why do you like Minecraft so much?
Me: Because I love miners!
How to make an orphan BLEED?
Step 1 - Tell them to clap until they actually have a loving family.
Step 2 - LAUGH EVILLY as they BLEED.
Step 3 - Tell them to kys.
Step 4 - Leave that mental asylum.
How did Peter Cottontail get his swing on? He made love to Alice in Wonderland.
Roses are red, violets are blue, You're so flat we can play chess on your chest!
"Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?"
My boss said she would've loved to meet Bill Cosby as a child. I don't get why I'm getting arrested. I was just making sure his dream came true.