Love jokes

Roses are red, your penis is blue, the bed sheet has turned a different color, too.

What did Stephen Hawking love that couldn't move?

Himself, ps particularly his whole body. I was gonna say his legs, but then I remembered he was fully paralysed and was like shitttttttttttttttttttttttttttt.

I love your mom and dad's joke! They made it together and called it your name.

When your crush walks in class but you're homeschooled...

My parents love me.

Roses are red, lemons are sour.

Open your legs and give me an hour.

I love telling stories as theatrical plays. When we had a free dress day near Christmas, my teacher dressed up as a reindeer, so I got my teacher involved... and shot her.

My boyfriend is just like a sexy nerd and I still have to ask him things like that because I'm so distracted from him.

A couple is sitting down, holding hands, and having a picnic after their wedding when the husband's friend walks over and says,

"Jenny and Jonathan sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes abrupt, tragic miscarriage! Then comes blame. Then comes despair, two hearts damaged, beyond repair. Johnathan leaves Jenny, and writes on the tree: D-I-V-O-R-C-E."

Dark Jokes R Like Puppies:

Once they come out they are trash, but once it starts to get older, that’s when it’s noticed, but when it gets too old, you either proclaim it dead or never talk about it.

(I would never do that though I love puppies)

My friend's name is Campbell, so she must love soup.

Skeletons love to be in band. They love the trombone!

My credit card is more declined than the love from my dad.

I love the way the Earth rotates.

It really makes my day!

I love fire. My friends love it too. When I set them on fire, they run around and scream. They sometimes get so tired they immediately fall asleep forever. Also, they need a shower.

A man sees a woman. He falls in love with her. Little did he know she had AIDS.

Most people smother babies with love.

I smother them with pillows.

Roses are red, Violets are twisted, Come back to my place, You might get fisted.

My chance of finding love.

New horror movie idea.

The main character loves anime. The killer yells "Omae wa mou shindeiru." The main character instinctively yells back "NANI???" and is killed.