This town ain't big enough for the one of you.
We were going to McDonald's, but we ran into your hairline!
A child's parents once lived in Chicago.
I wonder why he's in an orphanage now.
I hate it when I go to the shop and people are like, "Oh, hey what are you doing here?"
Me: "Oh, you know, just hunting elephants."
You know what's the difference between my basement and Chick-fil-A?
A lot of things.
I saw a man. I saw another man. And I saw another. Where am I? Comment below.
Why did the white girl come back from Africa?
Because there was no water for her to drink. I'm black.
Hey Siri, where is my dad?
Your dad is in a strip club in Las Vegas.
HAH, jokes on you! My dad’s in the kitchen!
Your mom’s husband is in the kitchen, your dad is in a strip club in Las Vegas.
...WhAT-
I found someone's hairline. It was on the western front.
Are you a playground? Because I want to put my kids in you.
During a phone call:
"Hey, is Michael Jackson in Miami with his manager?"
"Actually, he's off to Tampa with the kids."
Yo mama is so fat that when she fell over, she created the Grand Canyon.
Q: What do you call a girl walking down a street?
A: Lost, she's supposed to be in the kitchen.
You know that at Walmart they have backpacks next to the guns? Well, I thought that it was nice to see the bags next to the school supplies.
Where can you find the most dads?
Milk Island.
Why can't white people go to Blackpool? Cuz they're not black.
You’re so fat,
that your family moved to the other side of the U.S.A., but they still see you.
Where do terrorists go for a drink?
At the Allahu-ak Bar.
My teacher asked us what sex is. My friend, Bobby, got up and said in a loud, clear voice, "Sex is a temptation caused by a sensation, where a boy puts his location into a woman's destination to increase the population of the next generation. Do you understand my explanation, or do you need a demonstration?" The teacher shot him 23 times before she fainted.
Someone asked me to go to hell, so I drove to my local middle school.
