One time I broke a leg and I was using a wheelchair.
My parents thought I was a disappointment and put me up on eBay, the Ohioan Black Market, and the nearest adoption center.
Location Jokes
What do you do when you see a naked dead girl?
Check your map, you're obviously going in circles.
Your mom is so fat that when she went on top of one of the Twin Towers, it collapsed.
If you were a room in my house, I’d make you the basement.
So I could put kids inside you.
You're in Australia. Your forehead is the reason why Africa is so hot.
This town ain't big enough for the one of you.
We were going to McDonald's, but we ran into your hairline!
Me: Hey, were you born on a highway?
My enemy: Uh, no, why?
Me: Because that’s where most accidents happen.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Island.
Island who?
Island the one that knows you!
Were you born on a highway? Because that's where most accidents happen.
What's the difference between your mum and the Twin Towers?
I would smash the Twin Towers.
A child's parents once lived in Chicago.
I wonder why he's in an orphanage now.
I hate it when I go to the shop and people are like, "Oh, hey what are you doing here?"
Me: "Oh, you know, just hunting elephants."
You know what's the difference between my basement and Chick-fil-A?
A lot of things.
Why did Jordan cross the road? So he could get to his house.
I saw a man. I saw another man. And I saw another. Where am I? Comment below.
Why did the white girl come back from Africa?
Because there was no water for her to drink. I'm black.
Hey Siri, where is my dad?
Your dad is in a strip club in Las Vegas.
HAH, jokes on you! My dad’s in the kitchen!
Your mom’s husband is in the kitchen, your dad is in a strip club in Las Vegas.
...WhAT-
I found someone's hairline. It was on the western front.
Are you a playground? Because I want to put my kids in you.
