Were you born on the highway? 'Cause that's where most accidents happen.
Location Jokes
Little Johnny was late to class. The teacher asked him where he was. Little Johnny said, "I was on top of Marry Hill." Then a kid comes late to class and also said he was on Marry Hill. Then a little girl that's about 4 or 5 comes in. The teacher asks, "Who are you?" She said, "I'M MARRY HILL!"
I went to my girlfriend's house one day in Alabama when I met her brother. He said, "Well, I guess there's no more you stuck in the dryer."
So my depressed friend wanted to high-five the tree by the cemetery.
The tree left him hanging though.
School shootings are everywhere. In ice cream shops and even the woods.
Did you hear about the cannibal that passed his brother in the woods?
I wanted to fall off a cliff, sadly, there aren't any cliffs near my house.
I wanted to fall off a cliff, sadly, there aren't any cliffs near my house.
Have you heard of China...
China fit this dick in your mouth.
Why can't an orphan play baseball in China?
They can't find home plate.
What mountain cries the most?
A mountain under water.
Why the "hell" is this here?
What has four legs and one arm? A Doderman in a playground.
Why can't pirates play cards in the jungle?
Too many cheetahs.
What's the special part of town called? Downtown.
What is the part of school with all the autistic people called? Downtown.
What's the difference between a school bus and a cactus?
On the school bus, the pricks are on the inside, but on a cactus, the pricks are on the outside.
One day I met a blind guy and I said, "You should see Mt. Cheaha!"
Kid: Where do I put this paper?
Teacher: I already said go ask your neighbors.
Kid: Ok. *Walks home to his neighbor's house*
Kid: Hey neighbor, I didn't know where to put this paper, and my teacher said to ask you. Do you know?
Neighbor: No, sorry, I don't.
Kid: Okay, bye! *Kid walks back to school.*
Kid: Teacher, my next-door neighbor didn't know.
Teacher: Ugh, you went home?!
Kid: Yes, you told me to!
Teacher: I meant at school!
Kid: Ohhhhhh!
Teacher: Duh!
Do you ever get that feeling where you're just going through a school parking lot, then you realize that there are no parking lots?
