Lil Nas X is so gay, I would fuck him in the Old Town Road.
When people tell me to "go to hell," I tell them their address.
Your hair is so far back, you left it at your last address.
Blossom: Why are we dating the Rowdyruffs when we're technically siblings?
Bubbles:...
Buttercup: I don't know, but those people over there are lookin' at us weird.
Alabama: π
The little camel asks his mother: "Mum, why do we have these big humps?"
"Because in these humps there is some water, and in the hot desert we can drink."
"And Mum, why do we have this large fur?"
"Because the desert at night is so cold, and then we donβt feel cold."
"And Mum, why do we got these big hoofs?"
"Because the desert sand is hot, and the hoofs save us from the hot sand."
"But Mum, what the fuck are we doing here in the national zoo?"
I'll never forget my grandpa's last words:
"You need to park a little closer."
Why do you have to pay to see Russian people?
Because the zoo is not free, Duhhhhhπ
Your mum is so fat, when she was in front of my apartment, I couldn't get in.
Me and my friend are walking, we see a kid. My friend asks him why he's crying and if he lost his parents. He said, "Yeah." I slapped my friend because we were at an orphanage.
Yo hairline so ugly, when you go to school you fall on a line.
Two baked beans traveled around Australia.
They both ended up in Cairns.
Where is the best place to eat tacos?
In the Gulp of Mexico.
Mmmm, bread. I love Panera Bread.
This is unrelated, but where I live, there is no Panera Bread. Y'know what that's called?
No Panera Bread.
Yo mama so fat, her cheeks are in different time zones.
Virginia is false advertising. Couldn't find many virgins there.
Nun's worst holiday? Norfolk.
Nun's best holiday? Bangkok.
How much you wanna bet you will not repeat my name out loud (at school/work)?
Ur mama so fat she needs two watches because she's in different time zones.
Where did Sarah go after the bombing?
Everywhere. π
A Scouser at ground zero just after the twin towers fell asks a passer-by, "What time is it, mate?"
An American replies, "That's a mad accent, where are you from?"
The Scouser says, "Liverpool."
The American says, "Oh, what state is that in?"
The Scouser looks around and says, "About the same state as this, mate, but what time is it?"
